Today my son stayed home from school because he looked like hell after our weekend trip to Dallas for the Weston A. Price Foundation Wise Traditions conference. He was beat. Shortly before we got home last night at about 8:00, he had a series of sneezing fits. I knew the prognosis for a child-free Monday was not great.

So we had a home day that was mostly okay but didn’t end until 9:45 p.m. after we stuck firm to our refusal to give him apple cider. I don’t know what happened, if it was the zinc I gave him or the epsom salt bath or what. But he was insane. He came downstairs I don’t know how many times. We both tried everything we could think of in the mode of playful parenting, empathetic listening, and sticking to our guns.

Whatever is happening in his brain right now, though, we were no match for it.

All day, I’d been reluctant to indulge him in a ton of mommy time so as not to give the impression that you can just stay home whenever and do fun stuff. A homeschooler I am not, as much as sometimes I might like to be.

So he might have felt a little ignored, but he just needed to have some chill time, you know? Rationalizing, yes, but also true, I think.

Still, tonight, as he was being a total spaz, I was feeling kind of guilty for having been so scattered and all “play on your own” and “sure, you can watch that French opera from your grandpa.” Husband guilt for the trip (since I had attended the conference solo leaving him to fend for himself with two kids) didn’t help either.

And yet. When I look at the leaves my little boy found and marveled over today with absolute joy and delight for nothing other than their beauty, I feel grateful and lucky.

Like maybe I am kind of a decent mom.

Being one of some 1500 traditional food enthusiasts here at the Weston A. Price Foundation Wise Traditions conference is humbling and exhilarating. So many people have regained health or healed their children through real food. The stories at the Gut and Psychology Syndrome (GAPS diet) lecture alone were amazing. It’s easy in mainstream circles to feel like an outcast, a weirdo. When your diet is so restricted, you just smile and nod when others wink and nod about chocolate, or wine, or even about fruit or raw veggies, which I still can’t tolerate after nine months on the GAPS diet.

Real Food blogger panel at the Weston A. Price Foundation Wise Traditions conference

But here, as I listen to people who’ve put their whole family or hundreds of their patients on the GAPS diet and who, unlike me, actually render their own goose and duck fat, I feel like I’m getting off kind of easy, doing okay after nine months on the grain-free, starch-free, sugar-free diet.

And yet, listening to Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride talk about the physiology of damaged guts with damaged gut flora, I’m ever more determined to get well. As long as I continue to suffer from psoriasis, I will know that things are not okay in my body. Even if it goes away in a few months, as it did after my first child started sleeping (rather than nursing!) through the night at age two, I know I need to be very careful about what I eat. Forever. Not just in terms of no dairy or gluten but in terms of blood sugar fluctuations (which happen with a vengeance even just upon consuming fruit).

And the lifestyle component. Sigh. I need to give something up to simplify, but I just don’t know what that is. I need to make relaxation a priority or I won’t do it. I need to commit not to just taking care of pain and digestive distress but to the whole of my body. And not just to promoting and cooking real food and being an active volunteer in school and community but also to the whole of my home and family.

Tonight my husband spent almost two hours in the car – including a bathroom and sushi stop at  Kroger – to bring me my baby to nurse and my son to see after I’d been at the conference all day, some 15 miles away. In the grand scheme of things, this is not the end of the world. The kids were both fine and happy during dinner, but I’m sure it sucked to be stuck in Dallas traffic for so long. My husband was pretty blitzed.

Other dads attend this conference with the whole family. Still other dads might go to McDonald’s rather than care about where their food comes from, much less want to spend money to sit in a hotel all day to listen to people talk about food. Mine is somewhere in between – supportive and on board but not an advocate or anything close to a purist. I don’t get criticized, but I don’t much get thanked, either. And I definitely get the sense that I kind of make things hard. Maybe I do.

I believe that my children and my husband benefit from all I learn — and practice — about health and wellbeing. Sometimes that seems to get lost in my pursuit of something like a writing and editing career (and the hope of a future career). And lost in my desire to spread the word about all the things that have made such a difference for me. It’s not just enough to live it; my life and my telling about it have to be meaningful.

So it can feel like an indulgence to go to lengths to have great experiences like coming to this conference. But then I meet someone

Annette Fischer of Wilderness Family Naturals and daughter Logan sell oils, nuts and other snacks at the Weston A. Price Foundation Wise Traditions conference

like Annette Fischer, who founded Wilderness Family Naturals with her husband in 2000. They were living in the wilderness with no electricity and no water, with seven children who were born at home, and they wanted to share information about living naturally through herbs. So they put up information (most of which had to be taken down due to pressure from the FDA), and now they sell the highest quality products they can find. I’ve been a happy customer for years, since I first learned about WFN from an employee at MOMs Organic Market. Now that I’ve met the co-owner and her eldest daughter of nine, aged 10 to 24 (they now have another two children who they adopted from Haiti), I feel like my passion and my family should not be at odds.

And I’ve just now heard Kristen of FoodRenegade.com talk about earning more money than her husband through her blog, with the biggest source of income coming from her own products: e-books and e-courses. She quit doing copywriting work – which allowed her to stay home with her kids – when a conflict of interest surfaced with a client, and now, three years after she started blogging, is performing such a service and earning a living to boot. While homeschooling three kids under the age of seven!

I can’t not write. It’s just not an option. And I can’t watch important things happen and not have a say. I think of my children’s future health and freedom to eat real food, but I’d also like to earn some green to go toward that food we buy.

Time to sign-off before I get picked up to head back to my father-in-law’s where I expect to be coaxed away about every two hours by a baby who wants to nurse. Before I leave again in the morning to learn some more.

How do you balance passion, work, and non-work?

—

Check out this post on my Washington Times Communities column — a quickie first-day update from the conference.

A tale of two conferences

I’ve had a split personality this weekend.

Much of my time has been spent at the wonderful blogging conference, Blogalicious. Since I first arrived at the conference Friday morning, I’ve met great people, caught up with friends, and learned a ton about social media and media resources in general. A favorite session so far was a panel on finding “balance” led by Jessica Smith and Jeannette Kaplun. I’ll do more of a recap later this week for TheDCMoms.com.

Most of the Blogalicious attendees are staying on site at National Harbor, but I still have a baby who nurses through the night, and I live only nine miles away. I also have an extremely restricted diet and feel a whole lot better if I cook my own food. So I’ve spent mornings and evenings here at home with my family.

Take Back Your Health Conference expo hall

But the split doesn’t stop there. This weekend is also the inaugural Take Back Your Health Conference right in my backyard in Arlington, Virginia. Organized by an amazing young woman who was so sick she had to leave college but then found healing through diet and lifestyle changes, the conference has a great line-up of giants in the field of holistic health. So I spent some of today there, too.

It’s been interesting to be at the blogging conference thinking about my priorities and passions and then to see so many people engaged in those passions at the health conference. And then to come home and live some of those passions — at least attachment parenting and healthful eating, anyway. A few other aspects of healthy living are taking a back seat with so much shuttling around.

Think I’ll go have a mindful moment with my partner now!

That is, if my daughter doesn’t wake up first.

Welcome to the October Carnival of Natural Parenting: Money Matters

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared how finances affect their parenting choices. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

It might be sacrilegious to be an attachment parenting advocate and say this, but if money were no object, I would hire a live-in babysitter.

I can just hear the clicks away from my site now! No, really! Stay here! I’m not a monster. Let me explain!

I don’t mean I want to farm out parenting to someone else. I don’t mean that I would have someone attend to my baby in the night instead of nurse her, or that I wouldn’t feed an infant on demand, or that I wouldn’t babywear.

I just would like to do all of those things and also retain my mental and physical health.

So what I really want is a village. If I said that, or if I just said “I would get help to be healthy,” would that sound better?

After two easy pregnancies (one ending in a c-section and one a homebirth), I’ve had a rough time the second half of my postpartum years. My thyroid disorder has returned, and I’ve got psoriasis so bad on my knees I’ve been scratching them to bleeding. With my first child, the skin cleared up when he began sleeping through the night at age two. Whether because of my getting uninterrupted sleep or my hormones finally settling down, I don’t know. For a long time I thought it was in large part due to the holistic medicine and energy clearing work I did, and maybe that did help a lot.

The thing is, I couldn’t pursue those healing modalities until I had space and time away from my son. And, with intense separation anxiety, I couldn’t get that time because I just couldn’t invest in a sitter who would be around for him to feel comfortable.

When my daughter came along, I didn’t get to nap with her like I did with my son because now he was an active, social four-year-old with a preschool schedule and a constant desire to hang out with friends or at least with me. Leaving him to play on his own while I got the baby to sleep has never been much of an option, and his willingness to rest alone in his room is about nil.

For many months, I felt like no one’s needs were getting met. I didn’t get to focus on the baby, I didn’t get to focus on my son, I didn’t get to focus on me. The one place I couldn’t cut corners has been with food: I will literally get sick if I don’t make all my food from scratch. A mama who has to plunk her baby in the pack n play while she sits on the potty is not exactly what I envisioned for myself.

So I cook. A lot. And I struggle with modeling the mindfulness I want my children to see when I am constantly doing three things at once. I want to be attentive, but when my mind is so muddled and my body so tired, that’s hard.

Last spring, I got a sitter to help out for a low rate since she can’t drive and the baby might be asleep a lot. But then she ended up being such a help in the house, cleaning dishes and chopping vegetables, folding and putting away laundry. I felt like I could breathe!

And this fall, I’ve found a great sitter — a client of my doula — who wears my daughter. I’m told that Baby A likes to feed the sitter’s son, and I get cute texts on occasion.

Having this help and my son in kindergarten has made such a difference. I doubt we’ll be blessed with a third child, but if I did have to do newborn time all over, I would try to fit in a lot of tutoring and as much freelance editing work I could so that we could justify a lot of help before and after. After seeing other moms benefit from having an au pair who is just around all the time, I covet the ability to just go for a walk or accept a last-minute opening for an acupuncture class without having to spend an hour looking for 80 minutes of childcare coverage.

Other folks I know have family visit periodically, or they live near family members who can just pop over when need be. I wish this were the case for us, but it’s not. One grandmother has more years of travel and help left in her, but the other doesn’t. We just enjoy the time we can spend with her without putting her health over the edge. My sisters have been able to offer some help, but they each have their own three children.

I realize I’m lucky to be in a position that we can afford the healthful food I need to eat and the healthcare appointments I manage to actually make. But if someone handed me an open checkbook, I would fill it with support so that I could really be my best self.

***

Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon October 11 with all the carnival links.)

• Money Matter$ — Jenny at I’m a full-time mummy shares her experiences on several ways to save money as a parent.
• A different kind of life… — Mrs Green from Little Green Blog shares her utopian life and how it differs from her current one!
• Show Me The Money! — Arpita of Up, Down & Natural shares her experience of planning for parenting costs while also balancing the financial aspect of infertility treatments.
• Material v Spiritual Wealth – Living a Very Frugal Life with Kids — Amy at Peace 4 Parents shares her family’s realizations about the differences between material and spiritual wealth.
• If I Had a Money Tree — Sheila at A Gift Universe lists the things she would buy for her children if money were no object.
• Financial Sacrifices, Budgets, and the Single Income Family — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama looks at the importance of living within your means, the basics of crafting a budget, and the “real cost” of working outside of the home.
• Overcoming My Fear of All Things Financial — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares how she is currently overcoming her fear of money and trying to rectify her ignorance of all things financial.
• Confessions of a Cheapskate — Adrienne at Mommying My Way admits that her cheapskate tendencies that were present pre-motherhood only compounded post-baby.
• Money Matters — Witch Mom hates money; here’s why.
• Money? What Money?! — Alicia C. at McCrenshaw’s Newest Thoughts describes how decisions she’s made have resulted in little income, yet a green lifestyle for her and her family.
• What matters. — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life might worry about spending too much money on the grocery budget, but she will not sacrifice quality to save a dollar.
• Making Ends Meet — Abbie at Farmer’s Daughter shares about being a working mom and natural parent.
• Poor People, Wealthy Ways — Sylvia at MaMammalia discusses how existing on very little money allows her to set an example of how to live conscientiously and with love.
• The Green Stuff — Amyables at Toddler In Tow shares how natural parenting has bettered her budget – and her perspective on creating and mothering.
• Jemma’s Money — Take a sneak peek at That Mama Gretchen’s monthly budget and how Jemma fits into it.
• 5 Tips for How to Save Time and Money by Eating Healthier — Family meal prep can be expensive and time-consuming without a plan! Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares five easy tips for how to make your cooking life (and budget) easier.
• Belonging in the Countryside — Lack of money led Phoebe at Little Tinker Tales towards natural parenting, but it also hinders her from realizing her dream.
• Total Disclosure and Total Reform — Claire at The Adventures of Lactating Girl gets down to the nitty gritty of her money problems with hopes that you all can help her get her budget under control.
• Save Money by Using What You Have — Gaby at Tmuffin is only good with money because she’s lazy, has trouble throwing things away, and is indecisive. Here are some money-saving tips that helped her manage to quit her job and save enough money to become a WAHM.
• Two Hippos & Ten Euros: A Lesson in Budgeting — MudpieMama shares all about how her boys managed a tight budget at a recent zoo outing.
• ABBA said it — Laura from A Pug in the Kitchen ponders where her family has come from, where they are now and her hopes for her children’s financial future.
• Money vs. Time — Momma Jorje writes about cutting back on junk, bills, and then ultimately on income as well ~ to gain something of greater value: Time.
• An Unexpected Cost of Parenting — Moorea at MamaLady shares how medical crises changed how she feels about planning for parenthood.
• 5 Ways This Stay at Home Mom Saves Money — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares 5 self-imposed guidelines that help her spend as little money as possible.
• Frugal Parenting — Lisa at My World Edenwild shares 8 ways she saves money and enriches her family’s lives at the same time.
• Conscious Cash Conscious — Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares her 5 money-conscious considerations that balance her family’s joy with their eco-friendly ideals.
• Money, Sex and Having it All — Patti at Jazzy Mama explains how she’s willing to give up one thing to get another. (And just for fun, she pretends to give advice on how to build capital in the bedroom.)
• Money could buy me … a clone? — With no local family to help out, Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama wants childcare so she can take care of her health.
• Spending Intentionally — CatholicMommy loves to budget! Join her to learn what to buy, what not to buy, and, most importantly, where to buy.
• New lessons from an allowance — Lauren at Hobo Mama welcomes a follow-up guest post from Sam about the latest lessons their four-year-old’s learned from having his own spending money.
• How to Homeschool without Spending a Fortune — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares tips and links to many resources for saving money while homeschooling from preschool through high school.
• It’s Not a Baby Crisis. It’s Not Even a Professional Crisis. — Why paid maternity leave, you may ask? Rachael at The Variegated Life has some answers.
• “Making” Money — Do you like to do-it-yourself? Amy at Anktangle uses her crafty skills to save her family money and live a little greener.
• Money On My Mind — Luschka at Diary of a First Child has been thinking about money and her relationship with it, specifically how it impacts on her parenting, her parenting choices, and ultimately her lifestyle.
• Spending, Saving, and Finding a Balance — Melissa at The New Mommy Files discusses the various choices she and her family have made that affect their finances, and finds it all to be worth it in the end.
• Accounting for Taste — Cassie at There’s a Pickle in My Life shares their budget and talks about how they decided food is the most important item to budget for.
• Money Matters… But Not Too Much — Mamapoekie at Authentic Parenting shares how her family approaches money without putting too much of a focus onto it.
• Parenting While Owning a Home Business — In a guest post at Natural Parents Network, Lauren at Hobo Mama lays out the pros and cons of balancing parenting with working from home.
• Crunchy Living is SO Expensive…Or Is It? — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy talks about her biggest objection to natural living – and her surprise at what she learned.
• Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems — Sarah at Parenting God’s Children shares how a financial accountability partner changed her family’s finances.
• The Importance of Food Planning — Amanda at Let’s Take the Metro discusses how food budgeting and planning has helped her, even if she doesn’t always do it.
• Kids & Money: Starting an Allowance for Preschoolers — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings discusses her family’s approach and experiences with starting an allowance for preschoolers.

It was a quietly successful day.

What does that mean?

I usually prefer to get up before everyone else so that I can have some quiet moments alone, even if it’s just to start the breakfast (which means start the broth and veggies cooking, and the eggs, and some kind of meat, and get out all the veggies for juicing). If I’m in the right head space, I’ll do some yoga or breathing before I hear any noise on the baby monitor. Things almost always go smoother on those days.

So it’s not my ideal choice to get up at 8:00 and come downstairs to see my son and husband eating non-soaked oatmeal and know that I still have to do everything to feed myself, and I haven’t gotten any solo time or laundry or email checking done yet.

But instead of grumbling about the loss of early morning, I stayed in bed nursing my congested baby and feeling warm and snuggly. I’d slept as soundly as one can when her daughter cries out for a breast and cries again after nursing before switching from near-wail to “hmph” to sleep. But I was still tired, and she was still tired, so I just stayed on my side until her whines turned to amused gurgles accompanied by bats at my nose.

Then I did all that kitchen stuff. Well, LJ made the eggs, but I fed them and everything else to the baby, started laundry and did a short yoga practice while everyone else ate. I got to actually read and digest after my own breakfast when they went out on some errands. The baby came home awake but fell asleep well, so, at 11:40 a.m. I finally took off my flannel pjs from a chilly night to head out into a now-toastier day for a short, gentle jog under cloudless skies. What a thrill to see the sun and feel its rays warm my skin.

Inside, though, sniffles abounded. The baby had woken and the boys didn’t look so great. The younger one wanted to go buy soccer ball. After some sitting on the front stoop and a fresh diaper, off they all went again. This time I had the luxury of putting away laundry while talking to my mom on the phone and making a little more progress in organizing the kitchen while they were gone and after they returned with a girl who didn’t fall asleep in the car.

She nursed, I read more of my novel. She snacked in her high chair, I folded cloth napkins. She needed to poop, I folded clothes.

Even though I’m not at the peak of physical fitness and wasn’t looking for more exercise, I still hadn’t changed clothes, so I put her in the stroller and headed out into the late afternoon sun to see if she’d snooze. She babbled the entire time.

Upon our return, I declared it time to clear out the garden. Our three tomato plants had taken it over in July and we gave up the fight. Until today, when we reclaimed it for some late attempts at seeding lettuce. We all pulled the vines until E wanted to kick his new soccer ball instead and the mosquitoes scared away his dad and sister.

Then the boys went out for tacos, and I had I think what was my first evening alone with my baby girl. She ate, I cleaned. I ate, she ate. I read, she played with her food. And ate some more.

Somehow, though we didn’t get to the beach, or to a pumpkin patch, or out camping or any of the other many things my son is always asking to do, and I didn’t get  hours of work done, he got his soccer ball, the car got an oil change, and our garden got a new start.

It felt like a good day.

It was a day when every hour looked like 5 p.m.

Grey. Rain. Then rainier, and windy.

My boys, on their way home through the hurricane. (Alternate title: A visual representation of the fog I've been feeling in my body and mind for weeks.)

So why am I feeling better than I’ve felt since, like, June?

One guess is the yoga. I did about 20 minutes alone upstairs in my bedroom this morning, after 5 minutes using the chi machine. Post-juice, pre-breakfast. And pre-arrival of babysitter who was to spend four glorious hours keeping the kids entertained. The wash of ooh-ah-um after even a short bridge pose is amazing. The high is so obvious when you don’t do it for a while.

Yes, yoga probably helped. But what else?

Last night and this morning I used some Bach flower essences. Olive for exhaustion. Scleranthus for indecision. Elm and something else for responsibility/burden and blaming self. Or maybe I chose the one on forgiveness.

Speaking of forgiveness, last night I brought up an unresolved hurt from last weekend with my husband. I wouldn’t say I have zero fear of the same kind of thing happening again that I initially got upset about, but I did feel reasonably heard. So that probably helped. As did some Tivo’d Saturday Night Live we watched after clearing the air. (Thanks, Tina Fey and Maya Rudolph for the opening monologue/duet on the Mother’s Day episode).

Reading about letting go and being mindful in Buddhism for Mothers: A Calm Approach to Caring for Yourself and Your Children and Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life has probably helped my mood (and my willingness to drop last weekend’s scuffle once I’d had the chance to shout about it).

Though I find myself often slightly annoyed at the authors of these books — with a crabby, “Yes, I already know that’s how I should be. But how? Map it out for me in my actual life!” –  I also notice that just the act of reading about Zen makes me breathe more slowly and deliberately. Chew more. Pause. All important things. All possibly due some credit when it comes to my improved mood and energy.

On a more physical level, some changes might finally be taking effect. It’s Saturday night, four days since I saw a chiropractor/healer who adjusted me, muscle-tested me, gave me two doses of homeopathic remedies and loaded me up with supplements. I had so much going on, I sucked up my daughter’s appointment too, taking almost two full hours of this doctor’s time!

My thyroid is low, and my cholesterol super high. My adrenals are a wreck. I’ve felt not just depressed but fatigued beyond my years since early July.  Some bodywork a few weeks ago might have helped, but I was banking on a visit to this healer to get me on the road to recovery. Some Standard Process supplements and others should help with my fat metabolism problem, which is probably the cause of my high cholesterol and thanks to  my thyroid disorder, which is probably exacerbated by my adrenal fatigue, which probably also messes with my digestion and means I’m not absorbing nutrients. I’ve got supplements for all those issues, at least for a short time until I round a corner. Maybe the new pills I’m popping — or the extra food-based B vitamin with dinner — are starting to take effect.

Just before the earthquake started, the doctor was muscle-testing me about sleep, coming up with the prescription for 8-10 hours and a bedtime as close to 9:00 as possible. The rumble of the ground, I believe, was the universe hearing the doctor’s pronouncement and pounding exclamation marks over and over like a teenage girl’s note about a crush.

Okay, I get it. I need to sleep.

One of the tidbits of wisdom in the Buddhism for Mothers book was a quote from someone else to the effect of: it’s not at the gas pump that you actually use gas. Right. Store up the good to use later, or pay for it if you run on empty. I believe I’m now — one year postpartum — feeling the effects of doing too much after A’s birth, not napping with her at all (like I did daily with my son back in the day), and having even more interrupted nights very early on postpartum (thanks to my champion newborn night pooper!).

No wonder my digestion got so wonky. No wonder my skin is scaly and red. No wonder I bruise if you breathe on me.

And now the hair shedding has begun. And my belly has the look of an ad with the headline “Is your thyroid making you fat?” And since July, it’s been all I can do to walk around the block by myself, or up the stairs carrying the baby. Whose body is this?

Today, it feels a little more like mine.

Maybe the fact that my house is finally getting back in order after a kitchen remodel has helped. I can see the floor of my office again. Drywall dust has been wiped off the dining room table. The kitchen is usable enough to go from clean to messy to clean again several times a day, just like normal (except with more room, and prettier!) I got to inhabit my home all alone for a short time today, and it’s so much prettier and happier. Me too.

As Hurricane Irene pounds the coast and darkens our skies, there was nowhere to go this afternoon. Nothing to do, so we moved the couch and did yoga together. It was one of the rare times I’ve looked around and though simply, without any qualifiers, “This is my life.” And I smiled.

After my husband checked the gutters, we all went for a walk in the pouring rain, happy in hats and summer heat. Soaked enough to peel off everything upon our return. I washed my hair for possibly the first time this week.

Power may be lost soon, but for now we all have bellies full of delicious roasted chicken. Pathways have opened in my home.

Thanks be to my babysitter, who took kids outside before the rains came and to a rec center after they descended.

Thanks also to my husband for earning the money to build a kitchen I can love.  And to my doctor and everyone whose skill and hands have helped my weary bones.

Thanks to wise mama writers and wise-cracking mom actors for reminding me to smile.

And thanks to the threat of natural disasters for helping me see clearer priorities, for shining light on this darkest of summer days.

May the world look familiar tomorrow.

The sunflower that wasn't eaten by deer. Just appeared this week. Maybe I should give it some credit for the sun in my heart.

Welcome to the August Carnival of Natural Parenting: Creating With Kids

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama. This month our participants have shared how they make messes and masterpieces with children. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

I’m not the mom who knits during parent meetings or makes her children little felt figurines all the time. The latter I’ve done twice, practically under duress. Knitting makes me cry. Someday it won’t, but I can’t predict when that will stop.

Likewise, I stand in awe of people who actually make clothing their children wear in regular life, like this mom from my son’s preschool. Getting my children dressed in relatively clean clothes is enough of a victory for me; I doubt I will ever celebrate much in the way of self-styled schoolwear.

But Halloween costumes? Those are a project I will not outsource. Mine were almost always homemade, and while my mom was a superb seamstress the likes of which my kids will never see from me, I am proud to throw off my perfectionism when it comes to forcing a needle and thread into a costume.

My son’s first getup at age seven months was inspired by a friend’s adorable gift of a knitted acorn hat. I found him some brown pants at Old Navy and a green onesie at a consignment store onto which I sewed felt leaves. Volia, a tree! Daddy and I got craft store fake leaves glued onto craft store green tees, so we were a whole family tree, a bi-arboreal Maple-Oak mix.

My son’s second year I let him lead with his hair, an orange mullet

Halloween 2007 - Clown

Halloween 2008 - Leopard

perfect for a Bozo look, and his third year he got to wear the homemade leopard costume I’d worn as a child. So those were quiet years for craftiness.

But when he said he wanted to be a frog at age three, I took up the challenge. I found green pants he could wear again and paired them with a green shirt onto which I glued and then sewed brown swatches in a froggy design. Styrofoam eyes got sewn into green felt that got sewn onto a green hat, and the look was topped off with green gloves that got worn by yours truly later in the winter. Decidedly homemade, clearly not fancy or perfect, but thoroughly fun for him and full of heart.

Halloween 2009 - Frog

This past year, the boy got in his head that he wanted to be a scarlet macaw when it was still summer. Apparently this is the real name of the bird always just called “parrot.” It has a lot of colors. And wings. With my newborn in my arms, I told him that was fine if he still felt that way closer to Halloween. He did.

So I cast around on a local moms list for a red shirt and red felt, and I scored. One mom even left her castoff on my porch for me, and the other pickup we made on the way to preschool. My husband scoffed at first at my efforts but then joined in a late-night feather gluing session with supplemental store-bought felt.

Halloween 2010 - Scarlet Macaw

It might have been the day of the neighborhood parade that I sewed the eyes and red head onto one of three faded U of M baseball caps my husband had littered around the house and that I sewed the feather panel onto the red shirt. But whether at the last day, hour or minute, it all came together in a fashion that seemed to impress the parents at the park. Little do they know this is the only sewing I do all year.

Almost three months now before Halloween, my son is asking to be a firefighter, and I haven’t gotten any lightbulbs of inspiration for the baby, who just turned one. So if you check back in November, I can’t promise exactly how much of a Jessica original or two I’ll have to show for myself. But I do know that I will make a good faith effort to show my kids once again that the process of creating a look is part of the whole fun. And I do hope that I can keep up a tradition of keeping my sewing needle from getting rusty by at least putting it to some use when the leaves start to fall.

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Visit Hobo Mama and Code Name: Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

• Family Draw Time Art Show — Kate Wicker shares art (and inspiration!) from her family’s cherished tradition of family draw time.
• The Rules of Creativity: Learning to Create with the “Non-Creative” — Zoe at Give an Earthly shares how she learned to accept her “non-creative” child and claims that anyone, child or adult, can be creative given the right handling and environment.
• Creating With Kids: 4 Ways That Work For Us — See how Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings nurtures creativity with her kids through craft projects, outdoor creative play, celebrating the creative process, and setting up “little spaces of beauty.”
• Creating memories, not things — Mrs. Green from Little Green Blog reflects on life with a ten year old and how ‘creating together’ has evolved from ‘things’ to memories.
• The Gift of Creation — It may be hot, but Kellie at Our Mindful Life is already thinking about winter.
• Hidden Talents — Sylvia at MaMammalia describes how providing the opportunity for creativity sometimes means learning to look for hidden talents in unusual places.
• Creating Joy — CatholicMommy at Working to be Worthy shares how she and her one year-old son create joy for their community.
• How to do Crafts with Kids — Gaby from Tmuffin guest posts at Natural Parents Network and describes how to keep things simple when doing crafts with kids for magical (easy-to-clean, and tantrum-free) results.
• Sugar & Spice & Baking on the Kitchen Floor — Carrie at Love Notes Mama enjoys making a mess in the kitchen with her daughter.
• Young Scientist Makes Purple Potion — Hannah at Wild Parenting loves being a lab assistant for the young scientist in her life.
• Making a butterfly house — Lauren at Hobo Mama demonstrates the proper way to build a wooden butterfly house with a preschooler.
• Nurturing Creativity — Amyables at Toddler In Tow shares the enjoyment she feels in nurturing the creativity of her children.
• Home School Music – Sparking A New Generation Of Musicians — Based on her musical background, Chante at My Natural Motherhood Journey talks about how she creates with and teaches music to her children.
• Creating (im)perfectly Together — Mudpiemama shares some of the highlights of a summer spent building everything from ships to hoops but most of a lesson on letting go of perfection.
• Family Soccer Kick Around — When her children wanted to play soccer, Mandy at Living Peacefully with Children helped organize something that would work for her family.
• Creating Memories Together on Skype — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now tells how you can create memories online with adult children or anyone who lives in another city or country.
• We’ll always have Halloween: Creating costumes for kids — Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama is not the craftiest mom on the block, but she does make a mean homemade Halloween costume.
• Let’s Make Juice! — Wendylori at High Needs Attachment shares about the benefits of juicing with kids, as well as a quick recipe.
• Everything’s Better When It’s Homemade — Amanda at Let’s Take the Metro praises the art of homemade goods.
• Creating the Opportunity for Art — Jenn at Monkey Butt Junction shares how her family has created an environment conducive to art.
• 10 Easy and Functional Crafts Preschoolers Can Do with Minimal Assistance — Dionna at Code Name: Mama offers ten easy crafts preschoolers can do while sitting near parents — but they don’t need a lot of parental help. Added bonus: all of these ten ideas double as something functional (gifts, decor, educational).
• Creating with Kids: Singing Together — Ana at Pandamoly details the important role music takes in her household and provides a quick (and easy!) tutorial for creating fun songs to sing together!
• Create This — jessica at instead of institutions considers different aspects of creativity including those without an end product.
• Make Your Own Pocket Bib — A tutorial from Amy at Anktangle on how to make two simple and quick bibs to keep your little one clean at the table.
• Creating Together in the Kitchen — Despite not feeling “crafty,” Momma Jorje finds a way to create and connect with her toddler.
• An Artist-Mama’s Perspective — In this post, Shannon at The Artful Mama discusses the differences between her choice of artistic outlet and her son’s, and how they embrace those differences together.
• Heart of the Home — Jona at Life, Intertwined shares some highlights of cooking with kids.
• Getting creative with kids — Isil at Smiling like Sunshine shares how much she enjoys watching her daughter getting creative.
• Creating with Children – The Nature/Seasonal Table — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama celebrates the rhythm of the natural world with her toddler through the creation of a seasonal nature table.
• How Involving My Kid Saves My Sanity — The Happy Hippie Homemaker explains how involving her toddler in projects allows her to get more done, while providing valuable opportunities to teach and to bond (added bonus: amazing oatmeal raisin cookie recipe!).
• In the Kitchen with Kids — Cooking with Real and Pretend Food — Terri from Child of the Nature Isle engages her kids in the kitchen with culinary creations of both real and pretend food.

Once upon a time, I could go on a road trip without making all my own unprocessed, organic, starch-free food.

Once upon a time I could go to my parents’ house without drooling over idea of family-provided childcare so that I could enjoy some time to catch up on all things computer — email (professional and person), internet research, volunteerism and activism, blog writing and community-building/social networking.

Once upon a time, I did not measure my life in the time between naps and meals.

This is not that time.

On the Pennsylvania Turnpike

I have so much to say about my travels thus far, here in the Midwest with family while our kitchen gets expanded back home in Virginia. From an four-hands energy healing session at a groovy new spa in Ann Arbor to images of my son driving a golf cart, there’s plenty to say.

But the baby, who was listening to my old Fisher Price clock sing “90 Years Without Slumbering” is now done laughing at me in irony of the tune and is instead going for the computer cords, just like she does at home.

And I need to eat.

So I will catch up later. But I am here. And I will have plenty to say when I can find the time to say it.

The Washington, D.C. area was treated to some glorious weather this past weekend, and audience members for the final SteveSongs performance of the week at Wolf Trap Foundation for the Performing Arts soaked it up! The Children’s Theatre-in-the-Woods was the perfect place to be Saturday morning to listen to stories with storyteller Baba Jamal Koram and to sing along with SteveSongs.

Earlier this year I shared an interview with songwriter — and father of two! — Steve Roslonek. Check it out here to learn more about the man behind (or, rather, inside) the red shirt!

If you’ve never been to Wolf Trap’s Children’s Theatre-in-the-Woods, see how cool it is on this video on YouTube. This year, theatre has introduced day pass tickets that are good for both the 10:00 and 11:00 a.m. shows. They are a true bargain at just $8.

To enter to win a four-ticket pass, post a comment below by 5 p.m. Friday, July 22. Tickets are good for performances July 26-30 with the Maryland Youth Ballet and the Monumental Brass Quintet or for August 2-6 to see Secret Agent 23 Skidoo and the Wolf Trap Opera Company. Let me know in your comment which week you’d like tickets for and why. I will use a winner at random.

As for SteveSongs, he continues to be just about the nicest guy you might ever see on stage … or after the show. The man seems to have undying patience for signing CDs and DVDs, not to mention the fact that his on-stage jokes engage the parents as much as the kiddos. During a song about grumpy boys, girls, dads and moms, he joked that it was impossible to imagine that any dads might possibly want to be anywhere else on a Saturday than at a kids’ music show.

But honestly, though I was worried that going to the concert would cause our trip to look at kitchen counter options to be truncated in such a way as to draw the ire of my spouse, it truly was a lovely way to spend the morning. Last year I was 8.5 months pregnant and it was about 20 degrees hotter with no breeze. This year, we enjoyed a picnic in the shade and throwing the Frisbee in the field while waiting to talk to Steve, who always has a smile for everyone.

Steve was traveling this time without his family, which welcomed a baby daughter about six months ago. He said being away was both easy and hard. It feels good to be happy for the success of a fellow parent who is so entertaining and talented. Thanks to Wolf Trap for putting on such a great show and for letting us come back this year, our third in a row!

I went to three yoga classes today. That’s six hours of yoga, which is more time than I have spent sleeping at least a few of the last dozen nights, in preparation for leaving for this trip and since we’ve been on it.

Once again, I’m writing from a hotel parking lot with a snoring baby in the back seat. And a more serious column will have to wait, because if I stay up too much longer, I won’t trust myself to drive back to the condo in the fog. The weather through Tuesday was gorgeous, but since then, it has rained nonstop. Not great for wandering around the Euro-style ski village or for all the attractions that were supposed to be outside. But fine for staying inside and doing yoga all day! Well, except for having the baby brought to you and dashing out to the car to nurse every 2 1/4 hours.

This is an amazing experience for which I am so grateful. It’s taken a lot from a lot of people to make happen. Thank you to everyone who has supported me along the way and especially this week! I just wish I had more time to synthesize all I’m learning and feeling.

I am going to have sore abdominal muscles tomorrow but have really been enjoying myself. The condo is a mess, and I still haven’t wished my brother and a good friend a happy birthday from five days ago or my dad  happy fathers day from four days ago. We forgot to stop our mail and our newspaper at home and haven’t figured out even when — day or time — we are leaving to return home.

But somehow after all this breath work and all this time in my body, I do believe everything will be okay.

Related posts:

Yoga festival co-founder shares her vision: Interview with Schuyler Grant

Yoga gathering celebrates “magic” on the solstice: Report from day one of Anusara Grand Circle

and, here on the blog,

First report from my mat

Yogi goes to Vermont