Yesterday there was no childcare or playdate. Just a lot of rain. I truly felt like a stay-at-home mom, like back in the day before I took on freelance work or started up a chapter of Holistic Moms.

Some of yesterday was full of giggles. Some had me wanting to rip out my hair.

I consider it a victory that: I did a few stretches at home, then made it to the grocery store and then to yoga. My daughter had a few fussy moments during Lil Omm’s yoga playtime (an adult class where kids can hang out), but for the most part, I got in a decent practice. Of course, I was going just on fresh juice (kale, carrot, lettuce, parsley, lemon, beet) and didn’t eat breakfast until 11:30 after I’d put the babe down for a nap.

It would have been nice if she’d slept more than an hour and if she hadn’t been so whiny during the time of just us girls. At least, after her insanely mammoth poop, she amused herself in the tub while I folded clothes. (Note to self: get replacement plug for tub since husband threw out the old one). And then, before we headed to the bus stop to pick up her brother, we both gorged on Artisana coconut butter.

The happy surprise was that after she rejected my attempt to nap her again while her brother, ravenous after a hard day at kindergarten, was eating a second lunch, she was in a great mood. The two of them played individually and together for a good long while, during which time I chopped vegetables, washed dishes, and read and wrote emails related to work, the house, school and weekend planning.

Last week, I caught a piece on NPR about a study in the American Sociological Review that talks about how much more multitasking working mothers do than working fathers — and how much more stressful the mothers’ multitasking is. It’s worth a listen. When your brain constantly is engaged in three projects, it can’t do any of them well. Our circuits get fried. It’s tiring and not rewarding for us. And for our kids who have only a small pie piece of our attention, it’s got to be annoying. I don’t advocate dropping everything to coddle your kid 24/7, but some more focus on words that start with h, c, f, and d might be nice, I’m sure.

So the time from 3:30 to 5:30 was more productive than it was glorious. I got to plug in while they played well, and I only had to wear the baby on my back for a small chunk of time. She perked up when I fed her pomegranate, and I actually bounced on the rebounder (a few different times, since she kept climbing up to join me) and did a little more yoga in the few minutes between dinner being ready and my husband getting home. The physical activity alone made this a banner day!

But, after my son came downstairs at 8 p.m. complaining that he couldn’t sleep, I felt a little guilty for not giving him more focused attention and for not getting us all outside despite the rain. Ironically, I was in the middle of writing about natural playgrounds and playtime at school when he toddled in his too-small red jammies into the dining room, blinking at the light.

After I led him back into his room and tucked him back into bed, I realized, “Oh, you probably didn’t go out today, did you? No wonder you’re not so tired.”

“Just for morning break,” he replied, acknowledging that lunch recess was indoors. “We always went out in the rain at my old school,” he said of his Waldorf school. “I don’t know why they don’t go out in the rain at my new school,” he mused, pointing a knife toward the heart of his mom who chose free public school with a full day over returning to the outdoor-enthusiastic but tres expensive half-day Waldorf school.

I asked if he ever missed his old school, and he said yes, a lot. When pressed on what he missed, he described in great detail the joyful experience of playing with the rain that dripped down from the gutters of the old church that housed his school.

And then he switched his gushing praise to the current state of affairs, where he can pick to ride a trike or scooter on the track at school (and where he’s previously said he loves the big playground, and the soccer games at lunch). The enthusiasm about the new place was heartening.

I came back downstairs, checked a few items off the to do list my daughter had scribbled on hours earlier, finished an email, and went back to pacing out the floorplan of the next door house we are going to renovate starting as soon as we can make our decisions and get drawings ready to submit for permits.

When the baby started crying at 10:10, I said goodbye to the day, knowing that in the morning — after I got juice, broth, veggies, egg and sausage made, lunches finished up and packed, newly washed (and dried in the dryer because they were still in the wash when I went to bed) diapers stuffed and a new one on my girl’s bum before she went to the sitter’s — I knew that I’d get to pretend for a few hours that I am my own person who can do one thing at a time.

Like write about being a mom.

So, now that my son has weaned, I’m ready to do some detox. I tried an ionic foot bath twice the year I got pregnant. The water turned very yellow both times — like egg yolk. I heard at the time that this was connected to hormone issues.

Last week I tried it again, and you can see from the before and after pictures, the results were brown and black. According to the information at Whole Health and Wellness, this indicates liver and heavy metal issues. A recent trip to a holistic doctor came up with liver toxicity and heavy metals as concerns for me, too.

I’m planning to do some nutritional liver cleansing in the next few months, but this visual makes me think I might need some other help, too! Especially if I’m thinking we might want another baby. To be continued…!

I just spent $132 at the Vitamin Shoppe. Wow. My husband has an eardrum that has been ruptured for over 48 hours and still hurts a lot. I bought some tea, colloidal silver supplement and nasal spray, grapefruit seed extract ear drops and nasal spray, some probiotic (on sale), calendula tincture (seemed like a good idea) and some more homepathic remedies (including something that my son grabbed because it came with a little Curious George pouch – even the alternative stuff markets to kids! He’s been sick, too, so I cut him some slack, especially after he agreeably put several items back on the shelves and since he’d been whining a whole lot before we got into the car).

When I first went on my Save-My-Adrenals-and-Thyroid health kick starting in early 2004, I spent that kind of coin on capsules often. A lot was at the Vitamin Shoppe, where you get little coupons every so often if you spend a lot, and I also shopped at Village Green Apothecary in Bethesda, where they carry brands usually only practitioners have but at a better price. Since my thyroid has stabilized and my nutrition is so much improved, I haven’t been as much of a supplement junkie. And certainly in this economy with a one-income family, I’m usually more reserved before throwing $25 bottles of dried mushrooms into my basket (my sister-in-law swears that one helped her). But since the hubby isn’t of a mind to get energy work and is still in a lot of pain, he told me to get “whatever looks good.” After a week at home with my sick son, who was on a nursing binge to fight his fever (which also turned into an ear infection), I was ready to jack up the credit card for our health at the supplement store (and I already have with craniosacral therapy and an acupunturist who used some cute little tools on my boy to open his meridians and did a few needles on me when I mentioned his clinginess. It always comes back to me!)

Considering a possible run for reconception, I’m also thinking that it’s probably time for me to actually see a doctor — a holistic-minded one for sure, and preferably one who starts with some energy work, but someone who can make sure I’m in a safe place to possibly go forward with trying for a bigger family. That will cost a pretty penny, too, I’m sure!

Around here, we are finally feeling ready for a big purge and reorganization. There is too much stuff, and we’re ready to simplify. In some cases, the stuff we will toss (or recycle, or Freecycle, or sell) just doesn’t reflect how we live anymore. I keep thinking that once I get rid of all the clutter associated with shortcuts we no longer take, I’ll finally have the space and time to invest in more involved ways of living with respect to food, health and medicine, housekeeping. And work — writing, editing, tutoring. I spent way too much energy trying to clear a space — literally and figuratively.

I wanted to create a list of goals for the next year but thought I should first celebrate the changes I have made in this past year.

Things I’ve started doing since last summer:

-Made chicken stock from scratch regularly and used it to cook vegetables and rice. (I’d made stock before occasionally before but didn’t know about getting it to gel, and I didn’t use it for cooking everything like I do now)

-Gotten on a coop to get a good price on coconut oil, so I never run out

-Gotten in a coop to get pastured eggs, grassfed meat and real milk for my husband

-Learned a little bit about flower essences and started using them

-Learned a little bit about essential oils and started using them. Also set up an auto ship account with Young Living Oils so that I build up my collection through monthly shipments

-Started using Miessence skin products

-Researched skin product safety for sunscreen and replaced what I had (which I thought was safe) with less toxic kinds (and other skin products)

-Started drinking kombucha regularly and eating cultured veggies more often

-Started soaking nuts and drying them and sometimes sprouting them

-Started making waffles from gluten-free flours and nut flour or from coconut flour and then freezing them (instead of buying Van’s)

-Did a cleanse that succeeded in helping me feel better and clearing up my psoriasis

-Recovered from a sprained ankle; trained for and ran a half-marathon

Things I’ve stopped or greatly cut back on doing that seemed detrimental to my health

-Eating tons of nut butter addictively

-Eating rice pasta, rice tortillas, rice crackers as often

-Eating goat milk cheese — even the raw seemed to affect me negatively

-Using plastic containers to store food

Things I hope to do in the coming year, in addition to purging the house of what we don’t need and creating workable spaces on all three levels — office and basement storage and play area, kitchen, living room and play area, well-organized and clean (tiny bathroom), bedroom for my son, parent bedroom without two mattresses next to each other on the floor

-Establish a sense of rhythm and routine with respect to home life, exercise and wellness practices (like meditation and yoga), and work. This will include regular bedtimes (before 11:30 p.m.) and waking times (not sure yet)

-Focus on possibilities rather than shoulds and take action to get past emotional blockages when I feel thwarted in my attempts to follow through on the more mundane goals outlined below

-Eliminate paper towel use in our home

-Establish a cleaning schedule and make cleaners I feel good about

-Become knowledgeable about herbs for healing, some basic Ayurveda, and homeopathy and delve deeper into essences and essential oils

-Replace current herbs, salt and pepper with new, mineral-rich, fresh

-Make my own ketchup regularly

-Culture my own veggies regularly

-Try making water kefir and possibly other fermented drinks. Research fermented beverages in general

-Tend the compost consistentely

-Tend the garden and yard such that weeds don’t get out of control and plants don’t die. This includes figuring out a good hose and/or sprinkler system.

-Get rid of all plastic dishes and containers and replace with items I’ve researched and feel good about

-Make chicken stock weekly

-Make beef stock occasionally and roast grassfed meat regularly

-Soak rice when time allows

-Soak and sprout beans

-Make ghee

-Learn about GF baking

-Get refined sugar back out of diet, possibly including another carb-free, fruit-free (possibly legume-free) cleanse

-Learn about the best source for chocolate if I’m going to eat it

-Learn more about non-supplement forms of calcium and other vitamins and minerals and EFAs

-Possibly do a cleanse if my son weans before we decide we are ready to try to have another child. If I have this time, I would also use my infrared sauna and chi machine, which are of questionable safety while breastfeeding

I actually started this post over a month ago and found it helpful to return to it again before publishing. I look forward to having this info accessible whenever I need a reminder!