In the past few weeks, I’ve had to cancel some appointments for my own healing because my children were sick and I didn’t have childcare. I got so down, I canceled even more that I could have made; I got overwhelmed and started to question how I was ever going to feel better.
It felt like life was going by in a blur.
As I explained in Morning with a High-Maintenance Mama in late March, I had been getting physical therapy to work on my weak core as well as bodywork and energy work to try to get me to a place where my body isn’t in fight-or-flight mode all the time and to where it actually digests and eliminates all of its food. And figuring out what food agrees with me has been another project.
It’s been intense. I’ve been through major periods of healing before, but I didn’t expect another to come my way when it did in February. And I didn’t expect to be at this point in the spring, nearly a year after our renovation was completed and a year after weaning my daughter and still be looking out a yard of still-construction clay is being randomly populated by grasses and weeds and flowers and experiencing an ongoing inability to focus. On anything, for more than thirty seconds.
The optimistic and hopeful way to look at it is that there is just a lot more I need to learn and experience!
For that perspective, I have to thank a friend who actually came over on Mother’s Day and used her experience with Neuro-Muscular Technique (NMT) and Quantum Techniques (QT) to help me do some emotional clearing. What an amazing difference!
After working with this angel, I felt an incredible lightness compared to the heavy sense of desperation pushing down on me when she arrived Sunday morning. I am deeply grateful to her and to her husband for watching my kids and hers (including a one-year-old!) while she helped dissipate one hefty layer of emotional grogginess. She’s been through a lot and believes she had to experience it so she can help others.
Since her visit, I’ve also seen a Total Body Modification practitioner who said that I am carrying a lot of emotional stuff that needs to be released to work on my inflammation, skin issues and digestive issues, and before she can clear my food sensitivities. This is a familiar refrain! Too much emotion is part of the package.You can’t just address the physical when it’s intertwined with another layer.
She agreed that alkaline water was good for me but said even a pH of 8.5 is a little high, so I’m dialing down to around 8.0 with the loaned Living Water unit I’m trying out before deciding if I want to buy it.
I’ve also gotten the results of my saliva hormone test. They show what we’d already suspected: that I am close to adrenal fatigue. My female hormones (estradiol and progesterone) are in perfect balance, and my testosterone is fine, but my DHEA is low, and my cortisol dips too low in the afternoon and swings up at night when it should dip further.
So, one approach is to supplement with bio-identical DHEA, (something my doctor says a woman should NEVER do before testing), and with dessicated bovine adrenal gland, something I did back in 2004 when trying to heal from Graves’ disease and get healthy enough to regain my fertility and start a family. The doctor also sold me a pricey bottle of an herb tonic, which I will wait on for a few days until I’ve added in the other two.
This practitioner doesn’t muscle-test for supplements like others I’ve seen do — to “ask” the body if the supplement is good for it and then to test for dosage — but I did hold each one to do the lean test: If your body leans toward something when you pick it up, it’s good for you; if it leans away, it’s not. I didn’t lean away from any of the supplements she offered, so I bought them all.
A few days earlier, the TBM practitioner tested that a B vitamin and a complex of maca root and deer antler (that I’d gotten from other practitioners) were indeed good for me, so I’m trying those, too. I had been taking some Energetix and Unda homeopathics a few months back, but this is the first time in a while I’ve been popping pills.
Last night, at the Holistic Moms meeting where Shep Saltzman and Katy Vega discussed Fertility in a Holistic Framework, both speakers talked not a whole lot about birth control but about imbalances in general. It was a foundation-laying talk that helped me feel more invested in a holistic approach to wellness. Looking at only one piece of the puzzle doesn’t give you a good picture of what the whole thing looks like when you connect the other pieces. I have spent a good part of the last several years and a lot of past several months trying to find all those pieces and figure out where they go.
Everything is connected, and I feel grateful to have the opportunity work with and learn from a lot of great practitioners and friends on their own healing journeys.
Coming soon (or when I can get to it): more about how I think I got here!