“Priorities” pops up as one of my most used tags because this blog is essentially about my trying to figure out what my priorities are and how to accommodate them when they seem to contradict one another. Or when one supposed priority gets bumped off its seat for something I don’t claim to care about but apparently do (or else I wouldn’t do it).
Lately I’ve been thinking even more than usual about priorities. How my work to share information and make a difference in other people’s lives is really important to me, but that sometimes it takes precedence over my being very good at the relationships that are most immediate to me — to my husband, my children, and my friends and family. Those folks all kind of get the short end of the stick because I know they’ll take it. That’s not fair. That is not a choice made by someone who values her relationships and seriously wants them to be fabulous.
So I’m working on that.
I feel like this “think it through” message is coming at me from all perspectives. Last week, Diane MacEachern of the Big Green Purse spoke to my chapter of Holistic Moms Network and really got us thinking about what it means to be holistic and what we value as a means to shed light on what choices to make.
Last December, Carolyn Semedo and Suzanne Couming-Caldwell addressed our chapter and said essentially the same thing with respect not just to eco-friendly choices and budgeting priorities but to our family life, where so many of us feel out of balance. This might seem like a long time ago, but it’s been on my mind in part because I recently went to see Gloria Feldt with Carolyn (who is a work-life balance coach) and also because I have been thinking a lot about an introductory conversation I had with her almost two years ago about finding personal fulfillment and career success in one fell swoop.
The other day I had a conversation with chiropractor Jeanne Ohm about the ICPA Freedom for Family Wellness Summit that I’ll be going to later this week. (What a line-up of speakers!) She talked about making choices from a place of consciousness and a firm understanding of one’s goals and values. Once she understood the concept of vitalism — of the intelligence of the body and the desire to let it freely and fully express itself physically, emotionally, spiritually — it was clear to her that of course she’d want a homebirth, of course she’d want to attachment parent.
Today I met with a homeopath who was interested in not just my physical concerns or even acute mood issues but also with my overall approach to things and the ways I react and express my emotions. Nothing totally new came up; I just shared insights I’ve been working on for quite some time. But there is something about telling your story anew to someone that feels good and can get things working even before you’ve taken the remedy. (She needs to mail it to me for an LM dose of daily for six weeks, and she won’t tell me what it is until that time has passed so that I don’t go researching the heck out of it).
And then I talked to a good friend about all this thinking and, well, the meta layer keeps going and going as I type and Tweet.
Suffice it to say that, despite all the busy-ness of October and November and the ridiculousness of putting on a big birth options meeting when my daughter was six weeks old and other lapses in judgment (like staying up late right now), I feel like there is a personal shift coming. A shift toward acceptance, toward a paradigm that exalts beauty and love as much as it does the satisfaction of making a difference and the recognition for having done so.
This will not be a place without internet or busy days or self-questioning, but I do believe it will be a place of breath.