This time of year is always good for smacking me around. Even on a sunny day like today, when the quince and camellia are blooming and you swear it can’t be January it’s so warm, winter is in my bones.

And my mom’s too.  Right around this time in 1995, while I was doing my student teaching, she fell in her kitchen and broke her leg so bad it popped through the skin. At the time, my father was on his always-dreamed-about trip to New Zealand. Travel was not an anomaly for him; he’s done plenty for business and plenty for pleasure, including a trip to Thailand after he fell in love with the cuisine. I’m told he went bird-watching in Arizona (I think) shortly after I (his fifth child) was born. To say that my mother does not share his love for travel is a grand understatement.

When I signed up to read the novel The Art of Hearing Heartbeats for the From Left to Write book club, I hoped I would be able to reward myself with the novel read after finishing a volunteer project I was working on. But then I got more work tutoring in the last week of the semester at the boarding school where I help a few kids. And my children here at home kept needing a mommy. And their mommy needed more sleep. So she didn’t finish the book, but its tale of travel in search of a lost father is certainly intriguing.

Last week, I was on a high after the successful fundraiser, and I was pleased with how well I was feeling. And yet, I’ve also been reflecting lately on just when it is that my health gave me clues that I would have a challenging road. My mom has been wondering the same for years. Maybe that leg break was as bad as it was because she was (like me) celiac and didn’t know it, or because of some other health condition that weakens bones. The skin issues and digestive issues I’m having now are not new; they’ve been cycling through my body in various permutations for years. And even my mom has admitted that her body was not the ideal place to start a life, belonging to a stressed out (and a smoking) mother of four (ages 8-12 and up when I came along).

I bet she and I share more health issues than we are aware, though I hope that my discovering things at and earlier age and the newer research around these days will contribute to an easier road for me eventually. But right now, it’s a little challenging. The heaviness I feel around the time of a drop in my thyroid is knocking at the door like a canvasser who won’t disappear. And, even if this mild winter continues, it’s always tough to go into the month of February, recalling the death of my brother in 1987.

The year before he took his life, my parents and I went to the Bahamas for my seventh grade mid-winter break, a week that Michigan schools take off so that everyone can keep a little sanity. Finding green helps. The year before that, sixth grade, we went to Hawaii. My mom probably hated every minute of both trips. I loved them but wanted to do more activities and wished I had siblings closer to my age to join. When Pat died, I was on a vacation with a friend and her family on a small island near Barbados where we went on the most spectacular hike to a waterfall. A few days later — a week shy of my fourteenth birthday — I had to fly back home alone to the dreary Midwest.

Today, I still have my father’s zeal for adventure and his propensity to get and stay busy, but my body isn’t exactly keeping up. I’d like to join my sister-in-law’s yoga retreat in Costa Rica in March, but seeing as my thyroid really crashed just after meeting her family in Vermont for the Anusara Grand Circle and Wanderlust last June, and seeing as I have to cook all my food from scratch or face a lot discomfort, travel will have to wait.

I’m not even sure how I’m going to make it to Baltimore for even one day of the three-day Fourfold Path to Healing Conference this weekend. Although I fantasize about staying overnight by myself without having to wake to nurse my 18-month-old back to sleep, my not coming home Saturday night wouldn’t magically disappear all my issues. I’d still need to bring a bunch of food with me, and I’d probably want to pump. In order to reap the benefits of something that would be therapeutic, I have to make some sacrifices that might otherwise jeopardize my health (not to mention that of my daughter, son and husband, who I’m guessing wouldn’t have the greatest night of sleep since we haven’t done a dry run on the night weaning).

And what would they do all day Sunday if I stayed at the conference until it ends at 5:30, or would I leave at noon? How would my daughter react once I got home, and then had to go out after dinner to tutor? How would my body react?

Tonight, when my husband was trying to use playful parenting to get my son out of whining mode during dinner, he took on the voice of a train conductor. E didn’t understand the “sh-clunk” sound of the pretend hole punch. We realized our little boy, almost six, has never been on a train other than the Metro. Maybe my husband could take the kids up to Baltimore on a train partway through Saturday, and we could all drive back home that night, I suggested. “With both of them?” my husband asked, his eyes practically reflecting the shine of headlights. After a few minutes, he said he’d look into it.

Maybe the promise of adventure can somehow give me the space to pursue some healing without a whole lot of guilt. But probably just for one day.

—

How do you balance physical and emotional needs?

What did you inherit from your parents?

What pushes and pulls?

—

When Julia travels to Burma to search for her missing lawyer father, she discovers much more than she expected. Join From Left to Write on February 1 as we discuss The Art of Hearing Heartbeats by Jan-Philipp Sendker. As a member of From Left to Write, I received a copy of the book. All opinions are my own.

The instant I read the words, I regretted picking up my BlackBerry that one last time before going to bed. A well-meaning relative of mine had read my recent post about my health and my leaky gut problem and told me: “This is not the time to volunteer for things.” She intended to point out that there would be plenty of time later in life for me to pursue my interests when I didn’t have as many health challenges to face and when I wasn’t in such a busy time of motherhood with a kindergartener and opinionated non-verbal toddler.

I get her point. Really, I do. The problem is that her note assumes that volunteering is something that detracts from my well-being. Sure, it might have seemed that way in the post she read. I’d rushed to finish it and get it up rather than wait until who knows when I’d get a free moment to sit down again. I did, I realize, sound a little overwhelmed. And yes, balance is something I’m working on.

But I don’t regret my choices, and I don’t want them restricted. That wouldn’t help. If I weren’t busy with something that felt meaningful, that contributed to my priorities, that gave me joy, or that fueled me with passion, I would be, simply put, depressed. Staying busy and engaged in something bigger than myself is a necessity for me to stay mentally healthy without medication.

And staying off medication is something I feel is a physical necessity as well; I simply don’t think my body can handle being on anti-depressants. They made an amazing difference for two years, and then again for a year while I sought treatment for hyperthyroidism (Graves’ Disease).

But they are drugs. Even if I weren’t a true believer in the healing power of nutrition and energy work, my system has shown me it simply cannot handle anything artificial. As much as SSRIs helped, I’m also pretty convinced that they contributed to the mess I’m in now — a much smaller role than 30 years of eating gluten, probably, but a role nonetheless.

No amount of saying no to volunteer work is going to undo all the damage that was caused by decades of eating food my body couldn’t handle, to say nothing of mild but young substance abuse. What will help me heal is continuing to eat real food, pursuing what makes me happy, and cultivating a mindfulness practice. It takes a lot more time and energy than popping a pill, but I really don’t see that I have a choice if I have my long-term health in mind.

Until I got this late-night email, I was, I admit, stewing a little about the lack of time to do everything I cared about. But rather than push me to step aside, as was its intention, the note inspired me to remember why I have chosen what I’ve chosen to do and to be grateful that I have the opportunity to do it.

The fundraiser I was working on was a great success, both in money raised and in positive momentum and a spirit of community, which was probably even more valuable to this project about which I care deeply. Even as I wished for more hours in the day to proofread the program and organize the volunteer schedule, I remembered that I proposed this event because I believe in the cause and that I offered to head it up because it’s something I knew I could do well. I knew it could be a great thing, and I wanted to create that.

So I carried that purpose with me into the event and sincerely enjoyed it. I lapped up the kudos with nary a self-critical remark or “if only we could have” lament. It was just good, plain and simple. We can debrief and learn from it, sure, but the thing I am most proud of is just enjoying it.

And then, when I came home after being gone at the school 11 a.m.-5 p.m. and launched right back into domestic goddess mode, I took on that role without resentment. Sure, there was a smidge of “really?” in my brain when my husband said he was super tired, but rather than go to a place of bitterness, I just chalked it up to a confirmation that the job I usually do of managing house and home is, indeed, a tiring one!

I wanted the laundry and dishes dealt with, so I did them.

I wanted celery and other veggies for the next day and to not cook that night or ask my tired husband to rally, so I went out to the grocery store after picking up take-out.

I wanted to do yoga before eating in peace and quiet, so I waited until after the family meal and bedtime to get on my mat and then eat my own safe food.

Somehow, that email sparked — or stoked — a fire. What started as angry turned cozy and glowing. The email inspired me, in part, to take the Mother’s Self-Renewal workshop to explore issues of balance and honoring our many selves. That first session then gave me the sense that I am both not alone in my dilemmas about time and also that my process is one to honor. It is part of my mothering to model not perfection but an embracing of personal growth and inquiry.

So thank you, dear relative, even if noting you wish you’d gotten advice from your elders still doesn’t convince me that you weren’t being more judgmental than supportive. Regardless of their intent, your words helped me see through the messiness of internal conflict and to look toward something varied and beautiful.

I wouldn’t have even bothered to do the test if I didn’t think I had digestive problems. I know I do. But some of the information I got from my labs this week was information I didn’t even know could be found.

It’s been 11 months since I went on the GAPS diet, which has helped immensely with IBS symptoms. But I’ve had to stay on a modified version of the introduction diet: whenever I try to introduce too much raw vegetable, I pay for it. And fruit? I stayed off for a long time until peach season was in full bloom. I indulged some, really imagining that local, in-season produce could really be okay. But it wasn’t.

In August I met with a chiropractor and energy worker who helped me dramatically, and when I saw her later in the fall, she confirmed what I’d suspected: that I just had to eliminate all fruit. Me + any kind of sugar = problem.

To compensate for my lack of sweet indulgence of any kind, I sought out more and more fat. I was eating spoonfuls of nut butter after high-protein, filling meals. It seemed both a physical need to load up at meals in the darkening days of late fall and also an emotional need to indulge. For a while these were all soaked nuts, but that got so expensive to buy and time-consuming to make, I started buying regular nut butters, which I think have way too much phytic acid for me.

But compulsive eating wasn’t the only problem: I was also scratching the skin on my knees and elbows until they bled. This happened after several months after my first child was born and lasted until he was two and sleeping through the night; I don’t know if it was all the healing stuff I did that spring, or just the time elapsed, a decrease in nursing, or or an increase in interrupted sleep that made the difference. With my second child, the psoriasis came just a few months after she was born (at home, not a c-section), and now 17 months in and some decrease in nursing overall and night waking in particular, I see no signs of improvement.

Rather than take steroids or other topicals that are just going to push the problem further into my body as I did through my childhood and young adulthood, I’m determined to address the source of the problem. If only we could figure out what that is.

From the kitchen in the house we are renovating. I feel like MY insides must look just as bad.

The doctor recommended an expanded GI panel from DiagnosTechs. The test cost around $250 and would analyze my stool and saliva for parasites, bacteria, food sensitivities and some other stuff I didn’t even know it you could analyze.

The results just came in last week. I am free of any icky critters, my pH is fine, and Candida (yeast) showed up at only trace levels. Good news.

However, there were some bacteria, which we’re going to treat with Goldenseal and garlic, and the test confirmed dairy (casein) and gluten (gliadin) sensitivity through positive SIgA results.

No surprise there. The doctor I saw is generally not an absolutist on food or a believer in intolerances needing to last a lifetime, but she said it was clear I needed to stay gluten-free and dairy-free. The test panel explains:

“Predisposed individuals often experience intestinal inflammation after consumption of offending foods. Subsequently, the intestinal mucosa releases secretory IgA to neutralize the antigens. SIgA testing, unlike IgG, allows the detection of mild, subclinical and latent intolerance cases. Furthermore, the short SIgA half-life ensures earlier and more effective compliance and follow-up assessments.”

To have a positive gliadin AB, SIgA reading at the numerical level I showed after more than seven years on a gluten-free diet (and very little prepared food in my diet in the past year) means that I am super sensitive, the doc said.

Also of interest was the fact that I had “abnormally low” Chrymotrypsin levels, which is “suggestive of poor pancreatic output of all enzymes.” Perhaps this explains why I’m so darn sensitive to sugar! For this we are supplementing with an enzyme and hoping it will kick-start my body into remembering how to make it itself (and certainly help me until that happens).

But the most important thing, is, apparently, that I have just about no protective gut lining, or Intestinal Secretory IgA (SIgA). When people talk about a damaged gut “leaking” food into the bloodstream, it’s because there is no protective mucus to stop it. This test calls low <400 mg/100 g dry wt.

My number?

<1.

Seriously.

So even after a year of gentle eating, my gut is still this damaged. I think if I hadn’t gone on GAPS, I would probably be in the hospital on an IV!

If I understand it correctly, my epithelium is so compromised, my digestive system is letting food particles into my bloodstream, and then my body is lashing out at them as though they are foreign invaders. One of the results is the psoriasis. If you poke around online, you’ll also see a lot about low SIgA being linked to autism and ADHD. The doctor says my gut, pancreas and thyroid woes are all linked.

So what do we do? For one thing, I’m taking L-Glutamine to help heal my gut lining. I’ve taken this before and am not sure why I didn’t pick it back up months ago. The doctor is also ordering me some casein-free colostrom. Gosh, maybe it would even help to drink my own milk. I’m staying on the Green Pastures fermented cod liver oil and fish oil.

There was another Medi-Herb product the doctor wanted to put me on but isn’t since I’m still breastfeeding little A. I worry that at some point, I might need to switch the priority of gut health to hers over mine and wean. My son nursed until age 3, and I didn’t think I do anything shy of two years this time around. But something’s gotta give.

This doctor and other practitioners are not finding (through muscle-testing) that I need probiotics at this time, and since I didn’t have a huge overgrowth of yeast and since I feel like I have had negative reactions when I’ve taken the GAPS-recommended Bio-Kult, I will stay off. I’m eating some fermented foods (not a lot), but I’ve slacked on using lots of animal fats like lard, as I was some months back. Lately, I’ve stuck mostly to coconut oil for cooking and olive oil for extra (uncooked) flavor.

And I haven’t been eating much in the way of organ meats, as GAPS would recommend. It’s enough work to start the day with green juice, get some veggies cooked in broth, make eggs, veggies and some (non-processed) meat and then do it all over again for lunch and dinner, plus prepare meals for the kids and my husband. And did I mention we are renovating a house? And I’m organizing a school fundraiser for a wetlands learning lab?

So what else is supposed to help with gut lining? Less cortisol. Less stress. More relaxation. Riiiight.

My fear of depression scares me away from a life of quiet (or much meditation, or enough yoga over walks), but taking on too much clearly is doing me no favors. If I just weren’t interested in so many things…

The baby is waking up from the nap she miraculously went down for (just over an hour ago) with relative ease (a rarity!), and my son and husband are headed back from the farmers market. Maybe now that it’s past noon on Sunday, a full 24 hours after I started this post, I should just pull the trigger and get it up.

But I’m pretty sure there is a whole lot more to learn.

For me, food is medicine. If health is a priority, take out foods that don’t work for your body — because of allergies, because they rev you up (like caffeine or sugar), because they draw you down (like alcohol) or because they add to inflammation (like sugar and a lot of the Standard American Diet) — and add in nutrient-dense foods that heal and build strength.

A mindful diet is the best way to feel good. After food comes sleep and a lack of “junk” in your life — electronic clutter, literal clutter, toxic people, stress of any negative variety.

But there are times when we all need a little bump of help, usually when one of those other needs above isn’t met, for whatever reason. When we get run down or out of balance, we can utilize supplements, herbs, homeopathy, and body work and energy work (like chiropractic, massage, osteopathy and craniosacral therapy, and acupuncture).

A while back, I went to a wonderful learning session with acupuncturist and mom Allison Kitchen. She gave an overview of some herbal remedies, some energetic principles, and some nutritional supplements that she finds useful for her family and with her clients.

Allison, who also spoke to my chapter of Holistic Moms last summer, was kind enough to donate a box of Emergen-C Kidz strawberry-banana flavor for a giveaway.

When your little one starts to sniffle, dose her up with one of these packets of fizzy vitamins and minerals. An extra dose of Vitamin C and everything else in these little sachets just might help her body fight that bug.And make sure she rests and sleeps! And eats homemade chicken broth!

Share your favorite cold season remedy below to enter to win this box. The giveaway will close at 5 p.m. on Friday, December 9. The winner will be chosen at random.

Visit Allison’s blog, What Zoe Eats, and learn more about Allison’s practice at DCMindBody.

A tale of two conferences

I’ve had a split personality this weekend.

Much of my time has been spent at the wonderful blogging conference, Blogalicious. Since I first arrived at the conference Friday morning, I’ve met great people, caught up with friends, and learned a ton about social media and media resources in general. A favorite session so far was a panel on finding “balance” led by Jessica Smith and Jeannette Kaplun. I’ll do more of a recap later this week for TheDCMoms.com.

Most of the Blogalicious attendees are staying on site at National Harbor, but I still have a baby who nurses through the night, and I live only nine miles away. I also have an extremely restricted diet and feel a whole lot better if I cook my own food. So I’ve spent mornings and evenings here at home with my family.

Take Back Your Health Conference expo hall

But the split doesn’t stop there. This weekend is also the inaugural Take Back Your Health Conference right in my backyard in Arlington, Virginia. Organized by an amazing young woman who was so sick she had to leave college but then found healing through diet and lifestyle changes, the conference has a great line-up of giants in the field of holistic health. So I spent some of today there, too.

It’s been interesting to be at the blogging conference thinking about my priorities and passions and then to see so many people engaged in those passions at the health conference. And then to come home and live some of those passions — at least attachment parenting and healthful eating, anyway. A few other aspects of healthy living are taking a back seat with so much shuttling around.

Think I’ll go have a mindful moment with my partner now!

That is, if my daughter doesn’t wake up first.

When my nutritionist friend suggested I try integrating some animal protein and animal fat back into my diet, I was offended. Didn’t she know how bad it was for the earth to waste all those resources on raising animals instead of vegetables and grain? Didn’t she know that a low-fat diet was healthier?

Since I was grappling with infertility, depression, cystic acne and digestive issues and she had recovered from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and infertility to be midway through a healthy pregnancy, I decided to give her way a shot. It turns out that she knew a lot more than I did.

Unlike pale yellow battery eggs, pastured eggs are the color of a richly orange setting sun.

The processed soy I was consuming three or more times a day was terrible for my health, and it wasn’t good for the environment either. Once I added animal products back into my diet — slowly at first — my periods came back, my mood improved, and I felt stronger than ever before.

What followed was a move to gluten-free and dairy-free living and better mental and physical health than I’d ever known.

And, later, a baby.

I’ve now had two easy pregnancies but twice found my system struggling in the postpartum year. Both times I’ve improved dramatically by cutting back or cutting out all grains, starchy vegetables and sugar, even fruit.

Like more and more people I know, I’m following the GAPS diet. Designed by Dr. Natasha Campbell-McBride with a nod to the Specific Carbohydrate Diet, GAPS stands for Gut and Psychology Syndrome. It has helped children on the autism spectrum, people with Crohn’s Disease, and so many more. I have become a believer that my body and mind were poisoned by all the gluten-full food my unknowing Celiac Disease self ate for so long and by so much processed food.

Now I keep my tummy happy by eating only Real Food I make myself. A staple is bone broth, or stock made from the bones of pasture-raised chicken and beef from sustainable farms. If animals were all eating the foods they were designed to eat — grass for cows, bugs and such for chickens — there wouldn’t be much of an environmental argument against being an omnivore. Maybe there are too many people in the world to feed them all on small family farms, but I can eat that way.

To get my fresh, vital phytonutrients, I use a juicer most mornings, using as much local and seasonal produce I can. Although I used to eat salad three times a day, until I can handle the fiber of raw foods again, juicing is the best I can do.

All my efforts come from the belief that food is medicine. There is nothing that mainstream medicine could do for me that would fix my problems if I didn’t address them at the source through nutrition. My body had 30+ years of eating the wrong food for it (and often, not good stuff for anyone), and it may take a while to repair itself, especially while breastfeeding and slowly returning to non-pregnancy hormone levels.

In November, I will hear Campbell-McBride speak about GAPS and hear other Real Food renegades bust myths at the Weston A. Price Foundation conference in Dallas, Texas. I hope everyone who cares about food for health and about the health of the planet will join me!

Related posts:

GAPS Diet update

Why I’m not a vegetarian anymore

Gluten-free expo showcases products galore

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Read more posts about food at Blog Action Day 2011!

Welcome to the October Carnival of Natural Parenting: Money Matters

This post was written for inclusion in the monthly Carnival of Natural Parenting hosted by Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama. This month our participants have shared how finances affect their parenting choices. Please read to the end to find a list of links to the other carnival participants.

***

It might be sacrilegious to be an attachment parenting advocate and say this, but if money were no object, I would hire a live-in babysitter.

I can just hear the clicks away from my site now! No, really! Stay here! I’m not a monster. Let me explain!

I don’t mean I want to farm out parenting to someone else. I don’t mean that I would have someone attend to my baby in the night instead of nurse her, or that I wouldn’t feed an infant on demand, or that I wouldn’t babywear.

I just would like to do all of those things and also retain my mental and physical health.

So what I really want is a village. If I said that, or if I just said “I would get help to be healthy,” would that sound better?

After two easy pregnancies (one ending in a c-section and one a homebirth), I’ve had a rough time the second half of my postpartum years. My thyroid disorder has returned, and I’ve got psoriasis so bad on my knees I’ve been scratching them to bleeding. With my first child, the skin cleared up when he began sleeping through the night at age two. Whether because of my getting uninterrupted sleep or my hormones finally settling down, I don’t know. For a long time I thought it was in large part due to the holistic medicine and energy clearing work I did, and maybe that did help a lot.

The thing is, I couldn’t pursue those healing modalities until I had space and time away from my son. And, with intense separation anxiety, I couldn’t get that time because I just couldn’t invest in a sitter who would be around for him to feel comfortable.

When my daughter came along, I didn’t get to nap with her like I did with my son because now he was an active, social four-year-old with a preschool schedule and a constant desire to hang out with friends or at least with me. Leaving him to play on his own while I got the baby to sleep has never been much of an option, and his willingness to rest alone in his room is about nil.

For many months, I felt like no one’s needs were getting met. I didn’t get to focus on the baby, I didn’t get to focus on my son, I didn’t get to focus on me. The one place I couldn’t cut corners has been with food: I will literally get sick if I don’t make all my food from scratch. A mama who has to plunk her baby in the pack n play while she sits on the potty is not exactly what I envisioned for myself.

So I cook. A lot. And I struggle with modeling the mindfulness I want my children to see when I am constantly doing three things at once. I want to be attentive, but when my mind is so muddled and my body so tired, that’s hard.

Last spring, I got a sitter to help out for a low rate since she can’t drive and the baby might be asleep a lot. But then she ended up being such a help in the house, cleaning dishes and chopping vegetables, folding and putting away laundry. I felt like I could breathe!

And this fall, I’ve found a great sitter — a client of my doula — who wears my daughter. I’m told that Baby A likes to feed the sitter’s son, and I get cute texts on occasion.

Having this help and my son in kindergarten has made such a difference. I doubt we’ll be blessed with a third child, but if I did have to do newborn time all over, I would try to fit in a lot of tutoring and as much freelance editing work I could so that we could justify a lot of help before and after. After seeing other moms benefit from having an au pair who is just around all the time, I covet the ability to just go for a walk or accept a last-minute opening for an acupuncture class without having to spend an hour looking for 80 minutes of childcare coverage.

Other folks I know have family visit periodically, or they live near family members who can just pop over when need be. I wish this were the case for us, but it’s not. One grandmother has more years of travel and help left in her, but the other doesn’t. We just enjoy the time we can spend with her without putting her health over the edge. My sisters have been able to offer some help, but they each have their own three children.

I realize I’m lucky to be in a position that we can afford the healthful food I need to eat and the healthcare appointments I manage to actually make. But if someone handed me an open checkbook, I would fill it with support so that I could really be my best self.

***

Visit Code Name: Mama and Hobo Mama to find out how you can participate in the next Carnival of Natural Parenting!

Please take time to read the submissions by the other carnival participants:

(This list will be live and updated by afternoon October 11 with all the carnival links.)

• Money Matter$ — Jenny at I’m a full-time mummy shares her experiences on several ways to save money as a parent.
• A different kind of life… — Mrs Green from Little Green Blog shares her utopian life and how it differs from her current one!
• Show Me The Money! — Arpita of Up, Down & Natural shares her experience of planning for parenting costs while also balancing the financial aspect of infertility treatments.
• Material v Spiritual Wealth – Living a Very Frugal Life with Kids — Amy at Peace 4 Parents shares her family’s realizations about the differences between material and spiritual wealth.
• If I Had a Money Tree — Sheila at A Gift Universe lists the things she would buy for her children if money were no object.
• Financial Sacrifices, Budgets, and the Single Income Family — Jennifer at Hybrid Rasta Mama looks at the importance of living within your means, the basics of crafting a budget, and the “real cost” of working outside of the home.
• Overcoming My Fear of All Things Financial — Christine at African Babies Don’t Cry shares how she is currently overcoming her fear of money and trying to rectify her ignorance of all things financial.
• Confessions of a Cheapskate — Adrienne at Mommying My Way admits that her cheapskate tendencies that were present pre-motherhood only compounded post-baby.
• Money Matters — Witch Mom hates money; here’s why.
• Money? What Money?! — Alicia C. at McCrenshaw’s Newest Thoughts describes how decisions she’s made have resulted in little income, yet a green lifestyle for her and her family.
• What matters. — Laura at Our Messy Messy Life might worry about spending too much money on the grocery budget, but she will not sacrifice quality to save a dollar.
• Making Ends Meet — Abbie at Farmer’s Daughter shares about being a working mom and natural parent.
• Poor People, Wealthy Ways — Sylvia at MaMammalia discusses how existing on very little money allows her to set an example of how to live conscientiously and with love.
• The Green Stuff — Amyables at Toddler In Tow shares how natural parenting has bettered her budget – and her perspective on creating and mothering.
• Jemma’s Money — Take a sneak peek at That Mama Gretchen’s monthly budget and how Jemma fits into it.
• 5 Tips for How to Save Time and Money by Eating Healthier — Family meal prep can be expensive and time-consuming without a plan! Dionna at Code Name: Mama shares five easy tips for how to make your cooking life (and budget) easier.
• Belonging in the Countryside — Lack of money led Phoebe at Little Tinker Tales towards natural parenting, but it also hinders her from realizing her dream.
• Total Disclosure and Total Reform — Claire at The Adventures of Lactating Girl gets down to the nitty gritty of her money problems with hopes that you all can help her get her budget under control.
• Save Money by Using What You Have — Gaby at Tmuffin is only good with money because she’s lazy, has trouble throwing things away, and is indecisive. Here are some money-saving tips that helped her manage to quit her job and save enough money to become a WAHM.
• Two Hippos & Ten Euros: A Lesson in Budgeting — MudpieMama shares all about how her boys managed a tight budget at a recent zoo outing.
• ABBA said it — Laura from A Pug in the Kitchen ponders where her family has come from, where they are now and her hopes for her children’s financial future.
• Money vs. Time — Momma Jorje writes about cutting back on junk, bills, and then ultimately on income as well ~ to gain something of greater value: Time.
• An Unexpected Cost of Parenting — Moorea at MamaLady shares how medical crises changed how she feels about planning for parenthood.
• 5 Ways This Stay at Home Mom Saves Money — Charise at I Thought I Knew Mama shares 5 self-imposed guidelines that help her spend as little money as possible.
• Frugal Parenting — Lisa at My World Edenwild shares 8 ways she saves money and enriches her family’s lives at the same time.
• Conscious Cash Conscious — Zoie at TouchstoneZ shares her 5 money-conscious considerations that balance her family’s joy with their eco-friendly ideals.
• Money, Sex and Having it All — Patti at Jazzy Mama explains how she’s willing to give up one thing to get another. (And just for fun, she pretends to give advice on how to build capital in the bedroom.)
• Money could buy me … a clone? — With no local family to help out, Jessica Claire at Crunchy-Chewy Mama wants childcare so she can take care of her health.
• Spending Intentionally — CatholicMommy loves to budget! Join her to learn what to buy, what not to buy, and, most importantly, where to buy.
• New lessons from an allowance — Lauren at Hobo Mama welcomes a follow-up guest post from Sam about the latest lessons their four-year-old’s learned from having his own spending money.
• How to Homeschool without Spending a Fortune — Deb Chitwood at Living Montessori Now shares tips and links to many resources for saving money while homeschooling from preschool through high school.
• It’s Not a Baby Crisis. It’s Not Even a Professional Crisis. — Why paid maternity leave, you may ask? Rachael at The Variegated Life has some answers.
• “Making” Money — Do you like to do-it-yourself? Amy at Anktangle uses her crafty skills to save her family money and live a little greener.
• Money On My Mind — Luschka at Diary of a First Child has been thinking about money and her relationship with it, specifically how it impacts on her parenting, her parenting choices, and ultimately her lifestyle.
• Spending, Saving, and Finding a Balance — Melissa at The New Mommy Files discusses the various choices she and her family have made that affect their finances, and finds it all to be worth it in the end.
• Accounting for Taste — Cassie at There’s a Pickle in My Life shares their budget and talks about how they decided food is the most important item to budget for.
• Money Matters… But Not Too Much — Mamapoekie at Authentic Parenting shares how her family approaches money without putting too much of a focus onto it.
• Parenting While Owning a Home Business — In a guest post at Natural Parents Network, Lauren at Hobo Mama lays out the pros and cons of balancing parenting with working from home.
• Crunchy Living is SO Expensive…Or Is It? — Kelly at Becoming Crunchy talks about her biggest objection to natural living – and her surprise at what she learned.
• Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems — Sarah at Parenting God’s Children shares how a financial accountability partner changed her family’s finances.
• The Importance of Food Planning — Amanda at Let’s Take the Metro discusses how food budgeting and planning has helped her, even if she doesn’t always do it.
• Kids & Money: Starting an Allowance for Preschoolers — Kristin at Intrepid Murmurings discusses her family’s approach and experiences with starting an allowance for preschoolers.

I’d always been intrigued by the lectures I saw Dr. Felix Liao giving about the connection between dental health and whole body health, but his Whole Health Dental Center just seemed too far away.  Then I noticed someone posting on the Northern Virgina Families for Natural Living list that his office had moved inside the Beltway, to Falls Church. And one of my friends and members of my Holistic Moms chapter, health and fitness guru Nina Elliott of Health and Wholeness, posted an event and mentioned she was getting her mercury amalgams removed by Dr. Liao.

So I finally scheduled myself an appointment for an initial consult this summer to talk about my TMJ issues and the recurrence of my thyroid disorder and the related health woes I have been dealing with in recent months.

Could the poor alignment of my face and other cranial restrictions possibly be part of the picture?

Is my pituitary gland struggling because of the way I put pressure into my jaw every night and whenever I am the least big stressed or upset.

What about my son’s jaw tension and his tendency to clench or want to bit when he gets upset?

With a tired baby on my lap and her brother in a playdate, I started the conversation last month with the intention to schedule a CBCT scan in the future and probably develop some kind of appliance. Meanwhile, my husband has long complained of ENT problems he associates with his orthontia and teeth he had removed. When Dr. Liao told me he was giving a lecture on helping children avoid that kind of fate, I set about to get there.

Below is an excerpt from the article I wrote about the lecture for my column at the Washington Times Communities. It was sponsored by the Northern Virginia Whole Food Meetup group and organized by the fabulous Alana Sugar, nutritionist extraordinaire.

With limited childcare, I still haven’t gone in for my scan, but my husband called Dr. Liao’s office the next day and has already had his!

Dr. Liao will be presenting at the upcoming Take Back Your Health Conference in Arlington on October 22 and 23. I’ll update this post when I know when he’s set to speak.

At the lecture I attended, folks had their heads spinning as they saw examples of form following function. Before and after photos of children and adults who had their bite corrected were startling: one boy looked as if he’d grown half a head in just a week. Facial symmetry and general vibrance improved, too.

The crux of the message was that nothing in the body happens in isolation. When we attempt to straighten teeth for cosmetic purposes, we risk causing a whole host of other problems if we don’t look at posture, alignment, and position of the bite.

If children have persistent headaches, ear problems, fatigue even after resting, chances are there is something amiss in their bite. Posture is related to the way our mouth lines up with our spine and the way our jaws line up. Cranio-Dental Disorder, Dr. Liao explained, can manifest not only in colicky babies and preschoolers with persistent ear infections; it can also contribute to struggles with academics and sports throughout life.

So why do some children come into the world with poor mouth and dental structures? A variety of causes can contribute, with nutrition one of the most powerful. Dr. Liao cited the work of Dr. Weston A. Price, a dentist who traveled the world in the 1920s and found compromised dental and overall health among people whose parents had abandoned their traditional, nutrient-dense diets for processed foods.

Photographs reveal startling differences between groups who had incorporated convenience foods and those – even in nearby villages – who held onto their ancestral diets, which were often rich in fats and almost never vegetarian,  Picture wide jaws with straight teeth among the native peoples Price studied in contrast to narrow, V-shaped bites and crooked teeth in populations that ate processed food.

Other causes can include pollution from the 200 chemicals found in baby cord blood, as identified by the Environmental Working Group, and birth trauma that is not addressed early on by a chiropractor, osteopath or craniosacral therapist. Children who don’t want to give up a pacifier or stop sucking their thumb are likely trying to relieve a cranial strain, Dr. Liao said. “They are treating themselves the best way they know how,” he offered, but these habits will not address the core problem and can, in fact, create others.

Dr. Liao explained that our bite is not static, and it’s not simply mechanical. It’s part of our entire body structure. “You can’t drive straight if the steering system in your body” is not properly aligned, he explained. His “whole health” model of thinking rejects compartmentalizing the body, which he says works as a unit. By contrast, he said, many dentists fail to see he ripple effect of the jaw to other health issues, as though treating back pain, neck pain, or headaches does not fall under their job description.

Dr. Liao posited that a dental appliance should be “the first line of treatment” for snoring as it can help get the tongue out of the throat by correcting a narrow or receded jaw. It’s also possibly to expand the base of the nose by widening the palate, Dr. Liao said.

Not only can larger nostrils help with snoring, but addressing airway problems can alleviate oxygen deficiency that often results in headaches and depression in women and erectile dysfunction in men. In some cases, large tonsils restrict airways. Dr. Liao recommends working with a nutritionist, like event host Alana Sugar, to address food allergies that might affect tonsil size.

Breastfeeding helps to naturally develop a wide palate, and good nutrition from childhood can also keep a healthy individual developing a healthy bite. If children do develop problems, getting treatment early – often with expanders – can change a child’s medical fate. Dr. Liao quoted Dr. Jay Gerber who said that any treatment after age 12 is a compromise.

So what is a parent to do? Prenatally, both parents should get good nutrition from whole foods with plenty of healthy fats. Consider doing a cleanse before even trying to get pregnant. Breastfeed and follow a green lifestyle so that your children have the best chance of developing a healthy jaw and healthy body.

Observe your child’s face for balance vs. asymmetry or for other problems like pronated feet, and have him or her evaluated by age eight if you have any concerns. Dr. Liao uses a three-dimensional CBCT scan to see look not just at the bite and jaw structure but also to see if the head is mounted squarely over the body. From there, he has the information he needs to determine the right kind of appliance or complementary therapies.

It was a day when every hour looked like 5 p.m.

Grey. Rain. Then rainier, and windy.

My boys, on their way home through the hurricane. (Alternate title: A visual representation of the fog I've been feeling in my body and mind for weeks.)

So why am I feeling better than I’ve felt since, like, June?

One guess is the yoga. I did about 20 minutes alone upstairs in my bedroom this morning, after 5 minutes using the chi machine. Post-juice, pre-breakfast. And pre-arrival of babysitter who was to spend four glorious hours keeping the kids entertained. The wash of ooh-ah-um after even a short bridge pose is amazing. The high is so obvious when you don’t do it for a while.

Yes, yoga probably helped. But what else?

Last night and this morning I used some Bach flower essences. Olive for exhaustion. Scleranthus for indecision. Elm and something else for responsibility/burden and blaming self. Or maybe I chose the one on forgiveness.

Speaking of forgiveness, last night I brought up an unresolved hurt from last weekend with my husband. I wouldn’t say I have zero fear of the same kind of thing happening again that I initially got upset about, but I did feel reasonably heard. So that probably helped. As did some Tivo’d Saturday Night Live we watched after clearing the air. (Thanks, Tina Fey and Maya Rudolph for the opening monologue/duet on the Mother’s Day episode).

Reading about letting go and being mindful in Buddhism for Mothers: A Calm Approach to Caring for Yourself and Your Children and Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life has probably helped my mood (and my willingness to drop last weekend’s scuffle once I’d had the chance to shout about it).

Though I find myself often slightly annoyed at the authors of these books — with a crabby, “Yes, I already know that’s how I should be. But how? Map it out for me in my actual life!” –  I also notice that just the act of reading about Zen makes me breathe more slowly and deliberately. Chew more. Pause. All important things. All possibly due some credit when it comes to my improved mood and energy.

On a more physical level, some changes might finally be taking effect. It’s Saturday night, four days since I saw a chiropractor/healer who adjusted me, muscle-tested me, gave me two doses of homeopathic remedies and loaded me up with supplements. I had so much going on, I sucked up my daughter’s appointment too, taking almost two full hours of this doctor’s time!

My thyroid is low, and my cholesterol super high. My adrenals are a wreck. I’ve felt not just depressed but fatigued beyond my years since early July.  Some bodywork a few weeks ago might have helped, but I was banking on a visit to this healer to get me on the road to recovery. Some Standard Process supplements and others should help with my fat metabolism problem, which is probably the cause of my high cholesterol and thanks to  my thyroid disorder, which is probably exacerbated by my adrenal fatigue, which probably also messes with my digestion and means I’m not absorbing nutrients. I’ve got supplements for all those issues, at least for a short time until I round a corner. Maybe the new pills I’m popping — or the extra food-based B vitamin with dinner — are starting to take effect.

Just before the earthquake started, the doctor was muscle-testing me about sleep, coming up with the prescription for 8-10 hours and a bedtime as close to 9:00 as possible. The rumble of the ground, I believe, was the universe hearing the doctor’s pronouncement and pounding exclamation marks over and over like a teenage girl’s note about a crush.

Okay, I get it. I need to sleep.

One of the tidbits of wisdom in the Buddhism for Mothers book was a quote from someone else to the effect of: it’s not at the gas pump that you actually use gas. Right. Store up the good to use later, or pay for it if you run on empty. I believe I’m now — one year postpartum — feeling the effects of doing too much after A’s birth, not napping with her at all (like I did daily with my son back in the day), and having even more interrupted nights very early on postpartum (thanks to my champion newborn night pooper!).

No wonder my digestion got so wonky. No wonder my skin is scaly and red. No wonder I bruise if you breathe on me.

And now the hair shedding has begun. And my belly has the look of an ad with the headline “Is your thyroid making you fat?” And since July, it’s been all I can do to walk around the block by myself, or up the stairs carrying the baby. Whose body is this?

Today, it feels a little more like mine.

Maybe the fact that my house is finally getting back in order after a kitchen remodel has helped. I can see the floor of my office again. Drywall dust has been wiped off the dining room table. The kitchen is usable enough to go from clean to messy to clean again several times a day, just like normal (except with more room, and prettier!) I got to inhabit my home all alone for a short time today, and it’s so much prettier and happier. Me too.

As Hurricane Irene pounds the coast and darkens our skies, there was nowhere to go this afternoon. Nothing to do, so we moved the couch and did yoga together. It was one of the rare times I’ve looked around and though simply, without any qualifiers, “This is my life.” And I smiled.

After my husband checked the gutters, we all went for a walk in the pouring rain, happy in hats and summer heat. Soaked enough to peel off everything upon our return. I washed my hair for possibly the first time this week.

Power may be lost soon, but for now we all have bellies full of delicious roasted chicken. Pathways have opened in my home.

Thanks be to my babysitter, who took kids outside before the rains came and to a rec center after they descended.

Thanks also to my husband for earning the money to build a kitchen I can love.  And to my doctor and everyone whose skill and hands have helped my weary bones.

Thanks to wise mama writers and wise-cracking mom actors for reminding me to smile.

And thanks to the threat of natural disasters for helping me see clearer priorities, for shining light on this darkest of summer days.

May the world look familiar tomorrow.

The sunflower that wasn't eaten by deer. Just appeared this week. Maybe I should give it some credit for the sun in my heart.

I was invited to participate in an interview recently with Dr. Keith Ayoob, a nutritionist who appears regularly on “Good Morning America,” CNN, and ABC news and who writes for SchoolMenu.com. One of my favorite articles of his is called “D Pressed;” it highlights the importance of Vitamin D to mental health.  Anyone familiar with Julia Ross’s book The Mood Cure knows that a Vitamin D test is essential if you’re dealing with any mental health issues, and with most physical ones, too. Dr. Joseph Mercola has a great Vitamin D Resource Page on his website, Mercola.com.

When asked what foods he recommends for children, Dr. Ayoob said he’s always looking to get into people what they might be missing. Vitamin D is one of these important nutrients. Although some foods are fortified with Vitamin D, the Weston A. Price Foundation cites high-quality cod liver oil as a key source of this fat-soluble vitamin and raises concerns about synthetic forms of Vitamin D in this article.

Of particular concern to Dr. Ayoob was that all children and adults start their day with breakfast. Children who eat breakfast do better in school, he said, and everyone who eats breakfast is less likely to get tired in the afternoon. “You cannot have a healthy diet without breakfast,” Ayoob asserted.

Parents can get creative with breakfast, he said. Last night’s leftover chicken drumstick is a fine source of protein and has fat that will leave a child sated, the “stick-to-your-ribs” quality. In hot summer months, families might opt for cooked foods in the mornings and cooler foods in the evening.

When we do fire up the option, he urged, we should “over cook,” not in quality but in quantity. Don’t warm up the whole house for just a few baked potatoes; rather, plan ahead to cook many things at once that you can eat throughout the week with less effort.

This is a great strategy, but start early! I have been known to let dinner get way too late because I was determined not to start the oven until I had a chicken, four vegetables and my grain-free almond “bread” to bake all at once.

Another summer consideration is hydration. Dr. Ayoob wanted to remind parents that you don’t only drink water; eat your water too! Cool off with fruits and veggies that have high water content, like melons and cucumbers. Of course, many of these foods (including berries, peaches, apples, celery and green pepper) must be organic because they are on the dirty dozen list of worst produce when it comes to pesticide residue.

Back to time-planning, be sure to prioritize eating as a calm, community experience. Meals are a time to model social skills and manners. The more distractions kids have, the harder it is to enjoy eating. Even if breakfast seems to take only 6-7 minutes to eat, Dr. Ayoob said, plan for a 20-minute eating experience to show that you value healthy eating and family time as an important part of your day.

When I asked Dr. Ayoob about the importance of soaking grains for optimum digestibility, he suggested eating a piece of citrus with cereal instead. Dr. Ayoob’s interview was sponsored by General Mills, a company that produces many varieties of what Dr. Ayoob referred to as “ready-to-eat” cereal, or boxed cereal, including many gluten-free brands. This study shows that 86% of parents think cereal is a healthy breakfast choice, and it links to FAQ pages extolling the virtues of cereal and to the website cerealbenefits.com

In contrast to the concerns I raised about extrusion (the industrial process that creates boxed cereals out of making a slurry that is then heated at high temperatures) at the beginning of our interview and in posts here and here (concerns that were elaborated on in a recent post at Nourished Kitchen), Dr. Ayoob expressed a very positive outlook on whole-grain boxed cereal as a good source of nutrients. He first referenced it served with low-fat and fat-free dairy as part of a healthy breakfast.

When asked more about fat, Dr. Ayoob did admit that fat can provide satiety, and in later references to dairy he offered whole milk as a fine solution, though he did not support the drinking of raw milk, which had been in the news shortly before our interview.

He explained that his main concern when addressing issues of obesity is the number of calories. Having more than 25-30% of your calories from fat — a concentrated source of calories — would require one to reduce portions, Dr. Ayoob said, adding, however, that it’s important for children to get enough calories and enough protein in the morning. He suggested that keeping a hard-boiled egg in the fridge is a good way to have a quick source of protein for kids.

Overall, Dr. Ayoob was most interested in getting across the point that it’s important to eat breakfast of some kind for many reasons, including to stave off obesity.

For the full picture, check out our interview here!

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For more on what it means to be into Real Food, as I mentioned at the beginning of my interview, visit Kelly the Kitchen Kop’s Real Food Wednesday blog carnival