It is with an ache in my gut — literally — that I have to come to terms with the fact that I am not going to BlogHer ’14.
I had to believe the trip was possible when I bought the ticket. We’d had two snow days that week (including my birthday. What a rockin’ Mardi Gras that was.) Then one day with the kids at school during which I had an unpleasant dentist appointment. Then two days with kids back at home for parent-teacher conferences. I’d been getting up at 4:30 a.m. to get some work done and thought come Saturday, “I just want 6 hours on a plane alone.”
But then I spiked the fever the next day for an infection that took me lots of remedies — and energy — to beat sans-meds. And the site I was building and hoped would be ready to go totally prime time had to do a softer launch than I wanted. The novel I’d drafted to share on with my mom on a special (first time ever) kid-free visit over Valentine’s Day still had the same small holes in its heart that it did in February. And my body, which had promptly broken down within 18 hours of me clicking “Register,” kept presenting challenges. Right now, it seems to have forgotten how to digest!
I came to terms about a month ago with the fact that I wouldn’t be able to weather the stress of the trip — all the eating out with a restricted diet, the time change, and the long flight, which either takes all day on the return or leaves at an insane hour that would have me reeling for weeks.
And even if I could, I’m not ready to do more than soak up, which I’ve done for the past two years when my kids had wonderful family visits set up so that I didn’t have to feel 128% guilty for leaving them. Not so this year. I am not ready to be fabulous at the conference or to leave them with piecemealed childcare and to put that much on their dad. The costs to our bank account, to my health, and to our family are just too great.
So even though I was feeling optimistic when last I wrote, the conference is now off the table. I will be most decidedly at home next week. Maybe I will actually weed the garden. Ha! It’s as over-full and falling over as I am!
But still, I have got to try to find some beauty there.
And I need to sell my ticket! I knew the conference had sold out in the past and figured it would sell out this year in a smaller venue, which would leave me with an in-demand item. Not so!
I’m about to update my listing on the BlogHer ticket swap page to align with the prices going there, probably half of what I paid for a full conference ticket past the Early Bird pricing window. Ouch!
Anyone interested in snagging the ticket can reach me at jessica (at) mindfulhealthylife (dot) com.