This time of year is always good for smacking me around. Even on a sunny day like today, when the quince and camellia are blooming and you swear it can’t be January it’s so warm, winter is in my bones.

And my mom’s too.  Right around this time in 1995, while I was doing my student teaching, she fell in her kitchen and broke her leg so bad it popped through the skin. At the time, my father was on his always-dreamed-about trip to New Zealand. Travel was not an anomaly for him; he’s done plenty for business and plenty for pleasure, including a trip to Thailand after he fell in love with the cuisine. I’m told he went bird-watching in Arizona (I think) shortly after I (his fifth child) was born. To say that my mother does not share his love for travel is a grand understatement.

When I signed up to read the novel The Art of Hearing Heartbeats for the From Left to Write book club, I hoped I would be able to reward myself with the novel read after finishing a volunteer project I was working on. But then I got more work tutoring in the last week of the semester at the boarding school where I help a few kids. And my children here at home kept needing a mommy. And their mommy needed more sleep. So she didn’t finish the book, but its tale of travel in search of a lost father is certainly intriguing.

Last week, I was on a high after the successful fundraiser, and I was pleased with how well I was feeling. And yet, I’ve also been reflecting lately on just when it is that my health gave me clues that I would have a challenging road. My mom has been wondering the same for years. Maybe that leg break was as bad as it was because she was (like me) celiac and didn’t know it, or because of some other health condition that weakens bones. The skin issues and digestive issues I’m having now are not new; they’ve been cycling through my body in various permutations for years. And even my mom has admitted that her body was not the ideal place to start a life, belonging to a stressed out (and a smoking) mother of four (ages 8-12 and up when I came along).

I bet she and I share more health issues than we are aware, though I hope that my discovering things at and earlier age and the newer research around these days will contribute to an easier road for me eventually. But right now, it’s a little challenging. The heaviness I feel around the time of a drop in my thyroid is knocking at the door like a canvasser who won’t disappear. And, even if this mild winter continues, it’s always tough to go into the month of February, recalling the death of my brother in 1987.

The year before he took his life, my parents and I went to the Bahamas for my seventh grade mid-winter break, a week that Michigan schools take off so that everyone can keep a little sanity. Finding green helps. The year before that, sixth grade, we went to Hawaii. My mom probably hated every minute of both trips. I loved them but wanted to do more activities and wished I had siblings closer to my age to join. When Pat died, I was on a vacation with a friend and her family on a small island near Barbados where we went on the most spectacular hike to a waterfall. A few days later — a week shy of my fourteenth birthday — I had to fly back home alone to the dreary Midwest.

Today, I still have my father’s zeal for adventure and his propensity to get and stay busy, but my body isn’t exactly keeping up. I’d like to join my sister-in-law’s yoga retreat in Costa Rica in March, but seeing as my thyroid really crashed just after meeting her family in Vermont for the Anusara Grand Circle and Wanderlust last June, and seeing as I have to cook all my food from scratch or face a lot discomfort, travel will have to wait.

I’m not even sure how I’m going to make it to Baltimore for even one day of the three-day Fourfold Path to Healing Conference this weekend. Although I fantasize about staying overnight by myself without having to wake to nurse my 18-month-old back to sleep, my not coming home Saturday night wouldn’t magically disappear all my issues. I’d still need to bring a bunch of food with me, and I’d probably want to pump. In order to reap the benefits of something that would be therapeutic, I have to make some sacrifices that might otherwise jeopardize my health (not to mention that of my daughter, son and husband, who I’m guessing wouldn’t have the greatest night of sleep since we haven’t done a dry run on the night weaning).

And what would they do all day Sunday if I stayed at the conference until it ends at 5:30, or would I leave at noon? How would my daughter react once I got home, and then had to go out after dinner to tutor? How would my body react?

Tonight, when my husband was trying to use playful parenting to get my son out of whining mode during dinner, he took on the voice of a train conductor. E didn’t understand the “sh-clunk” sound of the pretend hole punch. We realized our little boy, almost six, has never been on a train other than the Metro. Maybe my husband could take the kids up to Baltimore on a train partway through Saturday, and we could all drive back home that night, I suggested. “With both of them?” my husband asked, his eyes practically reflecting the shine of headlights. After a few minutes, he said he’d look into it.

Maybe the promise of adventure can somehow give me the space to pursue some healing without a whole lot of guilt. But probably just for one day.

—

How do you balance physical and emotional needs?

What did you inherit from your parents?

What pushes and pulls?

—

When Julia travels to Burma to search for her missing lawyer father, she discovers much more than she expected. Join From Left to Write on February 1 as we discuss The Art of Hearing Heartbeats by Jan-Philipp Sendker. As a member of From Left to Write, I received a copy of the book. All opinions are my own.

The instant I read the words, I regretted picking up my BlackBerry that one last time before going to bed. A well-meaning relative of mine had read my recent post about my health and my leaky gut problem and told me: “This is not the time to volunteer for things.” She intended to point out that there would be plenty of time later in life for me to pursue my interests when I didn’t have as many health challenges to face and when I wasn’t in such a busy time of motherhood with a kindergartener and opinionated non-verbal toddler.

I get her point. Really, I do. The problem is that her note assumes that volunteering is something that detracts from my well-being. Sure, it might have seemed that way in the post she read. I’d rushed to finish it and get it up rather than wait until who knows when I’d get a free moment to sit down again. I did, I realize, sound a little overwhelmed. And yes, balance is something I’m working on.

But I don’t regret my choices, and I don’t want them restricted. That wouldn’t help. If I weren’t busy with something that felt meaningful, that contributed to my priorities, that gave me joy, or that fueled me with passion, I would be, simply put, depressed. Staying busy and engaged in something bigger than myself is a necessity for me to stay mentally healthy without medication.

And staying off medication is something I feel is a physical necessity as well; I simply don’t think my body can handle being on anti-depressants. They made an amazing difference for two years, and then again for a year while I sought treatment for hyperthyroidism (Graves’ Disease).

But they are drugs. Even if I weren’t a true believer in the healing power of nutrition and energy work, my system has shown me it simply cannot handle anything artificial. As much as SSRIs helped, I’m also pretty convinced that they contributed to the mess I’m in now — a much smaller role than 30 years of eating gluten, probably, but a role nonetheless.

No amount of saying no to volunteer work is going to undo all the damage that was caused by decades of eating food my body couldn’t handle, to say nothing of mild but young substance abuse. What will help me heal is continuing to eat real food, pursuing what makes me happy, and cultivating a mindfulness practice. It takes a lot more time and energy than popping a pill, but I really don’t see that I have a choice if I have my long-term health in mind.

Until I got this late-night email, I was, I admit, stewing a little about the lack of time to do everything I cared about. But rather than push me to step aside, as was its intention, the note inspired me to remember why I have chosen what I’ve chosen to do and to be grateful that I have the opportunity to do it.

The fundraiser I was working on was a great success, both in money raised and in positive momentum and a spirit of community, which was probably even more valuable to this project about which I care deeply. Even as I wished for more hours in the day to proofread the program and organize the volunteer schedule, I remembered that I proposed this event because I believe in the cause and that I offered to head it up because it’s something I knew I could do well. I knew it could be a great thing, and I wanted to create that.

So I carried that purpose with me into the event and sincerely enjoyed it. I lapped up the kudos with nary a self-critical remark or “if only we could have” lament. It was just good, plain and simple. We can debrief and learn from it, sure, but the thing I am most proud of is just enjoying it.

And then, when I came home after being gone at the school 11 a.m.-5 p.m. and launched right back into domestic goddess mode, I took on that role without resentment. Sure, there was a smidge of “really?” in my brain when my husband said he was super tired, but rather than go to a place of bitterness, I just chalked it up to a confirmation that the job I usually do of managing house and home is, indeed, a tiring one!

I wanted the laundry and dishes dealt with, so I did them.

I wanted celery and other veggies for the next day and to not cook that night or ask my tired husband to rally, so I went out to the grocery store after picking up take-out.

I wanted to do yoga before eating in peace and quiet, so I waited until after the family meal and bedtime to get on my mat and then eat my own safe food.

Somehow, that email sparked — or stoked — a fire. What started as angry turned cozy and glowing. The email inspired me, in part, to take the Mother’s Self-Renewal workshop to explore issues of balance and honoring our many selves. That first session then gave me the sense that I am both not alone in my dilemmas about time and also that my process is one to honor. It is part of my mothering to model not perfection but an embracing of personal growth and inquiry.

So thank you, dear relative, even if noting you wish you’d gotten advice from your elders still doesn’t convince me that you weren’t being more judgmental than supportive. Regardless of their intent, your words helped me see through the messiness of internal conflict and to look toward something varied and beautiful.

When a two-hour workshop that requires almost an hour of driving leaves you feeling recharged like you had a nap, I’d say it lives up to its “self-renewal” title!

Today was the first meeting of a “Monthly Mother’s Self-Renewal Group” based on Renee Trudeau’s book, The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal. We centered, we talked, we drew. It was great! I can’t wait to start working on some of the exercises and sharing them here! What an inspiring way to start the new year!

Thanks to Lil Omm yoga studio and parenting counselor Jennifer Kogan for putting this together. I’m so motivated, I’m going to cheerily clean up the house while my husband puts the kids to bed, even if he has made at least two or three wisecracks about my taking three hours out of the day on a busy weekend to do this. It’s up to me to keep up my mama mojo.

And yes, I did notice that one of the other books Jen had resting on her yoga mat was Mojo Mom: Nurturing Your Self While Raising a Family by Amy Tiemann. Next on the list!

Campbell Elementary School in south Arlington is hoping to remedy a swampy (and sometimes icy) problem in its playground and turn the area into a wetlands learning lab.

The school is a county-wide program that utilizes a hands-on curriculum called Expeditionary Learning. The wetlands learning lab will give students lots of opportunities to observe wildlife and ecosystems in action and to do various experiments. The new spot, which has been designed by EarlySpace landscape designer Nancy Striniste, will also be a place of beauty and an opportunity for students to have daily interaction with nature and outlets for unstructured play.

Learn more about the project at WetlandsLearningLab.com or on Facebook. In order to raise the necessary funds for construction to begin this winter, when construction costs are low, the school is holding a benefit concert on January 21 with music, activities and a silent auction.

Here are the details:

Wetlands Benefit Concert

Saturday, January 21, 1:00-4:00 p.m. (snow date January 28)

Tickets $10 per family (at the door)

Campbell Elementary School, 737 S. Carlin Springs Rd., Arlington, VA 22204

Entertainment and activities include children’s performer Groovy Nate, roots/bluegrass band Forty Miles Home, Bolivian dance performances, sing-along, family yoga, storytelling and a silent auction. Proceeds will help construct a Wetlands Learning Lab on school grounds.

For more information, visit WetlandsLearningLab.com, email CampbellWetlands (at) gmail (dot) com, or call 571-451-8273

For me, food is medicine. If health is a priority, take out foods that don’t work for your body — because of allergies, because they rev you up (like caffeine or sugar), because they draw you down (like alcohol) or because they add to inflammation (like sugar and a lot of the Standard American Diet) — and add in nutrient-dense foods that heal and build strength.

A mindful diet is the best way to feel good. After food comes sleep and a lack of “junk” in your life — electronic clutter, literal clutter, toxic people, stress of any negative variety.

But there are times when we all need a little bump of help, usually when one of those other needs above isn’t met, for whatever reason. When we get run down or out of balance, we can utilize supplements, herbs, homeopathy, and body work and energy work (like chiropractic, massage, osteopathy and craniosacral therapy, and acupuncture).

A while back, I went to a wonderful learning session with acupuncturist and mom Allison Kitchen. She gave an overview of some herbal remedies, some energetic principles, and some nutritional supplements that she finds useful for her family and with her clients.

Allison, who also spoke to my chapter of Holistic Moms last summer, was kind enough to donate a box of Emergen-C Kidz strawberry-banana flavor for a giveaway.

When your little one starts to sniffle, dose her up with one of these packets of fizzy vitamins and minerals. An extra dose of Vitamin C and everything else in these little sachets just might help her body fight that bug.And make sure she rests and sleeps! And eats homemade chicken broth!

Share your favorite cold season remedy below to enter to win this box. The giveaway will close at 5 p.m. on Friday, December 9. The winner will be chosen at random.

Visit Allison’s blog, What Zoe Eats, and learn more about Allison’s practice at DCMindBody.

Hop on over to TheDCMoms.com to see my Green post today on making thoughtful plans as you head into holiday hosting. Let’s see if I can take my own advice this time.

What a great turnout at yesterday’s rally to protest restrictions on the sale of raw milk. Here are some photos from the reporter mom perspective!

For full coverage, check out my article at The Washington Times Communities Family Today

Also visit Kimberly Hartke’s blog post about the rally.

Pasteurized milk is really a blip, historically speaking!

Know your farmer, know your cow!

Everyone enjoying the criminally transported goods!

Or check out all this great coverage!

Only 15 months old and she's already taking notes!

The Complete Patient

San Francisco Chronicle

TBD/News Channel 8

Christian Broadcasting Network

Delmarva Now

Gaithersburg Patch

Moms do not appreciate the government telling them how to feed their children and restricting their access to what they feel is a healthful food.

On November 1, 2011, mothers from around the country will protest outside the Food and Drug Administration building in Silver Spring, Maryland to protest the FDA’s restriction on the purchase of raw milk across state lines.

According to a press release from The Campaign for Real Milk, a project of the Weston A. Price Foundation, these moms want to:

“protest the FDA’s crackdown on raw milk production and distribution, arguing that the government campaign not only criminalizes raw milk, but criminalizes the American citizens who buy and consume it.

Prior to their peaceful demonstration, a caravan of mothers will cross state lines with raw milk and invite the FDA to witness what the agency wrongly considers to be a criminal act. Media are invited to ride along as embedded reporters to report on how the FDA responds to what it wrongly terms a violation of the law.”

If you agree that Americans should be able to control our own health choices, consider joining the demonstration at FDA Headquarters at 10903 New Hampshire Ave., Silver Spring, MD. The event is slated for 12 noon to 3 p.m. on Tuesday, November 1. More information on the event and the route the demonstrators will be taking is available at http://rawmilkfreedomriders.com/ ,at NaturalNews.com at the Farm Food Freedom Coalition and on Facebook.

The rally is hosting some big names in food freedom, including Joel Salatin of Polyface Farm, featured in the documentaries Food, Inc., Farmageddon, and Fresh; Mark McAfee of Organic Pastures dairy, the largest raw dairy company in the U.S.;  David Gumpert, journalist and author of Raw Milk Revolution; Max Kane, currently fighting the state of Wisconsin for right to private contracts; and Michael Schmidt, farmer currently staging a hunger strike in Canada regarding raw milk access.

Weston A. Price Foundation president and Nourishing Traditions author Sally Fallon Morell and WAPF publicist and HartkeIsOnline.com Real Food blogger Kimberly Hartke share resources on raw milk and traditional diets.

Although my head is reeling from attending two conferences this weekend and I’d like to just put my feet up at home for the next month, I’ve got this date on my calendar!

Even if I don’t personally tolerate any dairy very well, I certainly want my family and all other families to have access to this healthful living food humans drank for centuries until industrial farming created unhealthy conditions. Today’s small sustainable farms know what they are doing, and their customers reap the health benefits of raw milk obtained from happy grassfed cows.

And I see no reason why the federal government should waste its time and money on restricting consumers’ choices and bankrupting small family farms.

Isn’t this a free country? Aren’t there a lot of other needs for our tax dollars?

A tale of two conferences

I’ve had a split personality this weekend.

Much of my time has been spent at the wonderful blogging conference, Blogalicious. Since I first arrived at the conference Friday morning, I’ve met great people, caught up with friends, and learned a ton about social media and media resources in general. A favorite session so far was a panel on finding “balance” led by Jessica Smith and Jeannette Kaplun. I’ll do more of a recap later this week for TheDCMoms.com.

Most of the Blogalicious attendees are staying on site at National Harbor, but I still have a baby who nurses through the night, and I live only nine miles away. I also have an extremely restricted diet and feel a whole lot better if I cook my own food. So I’ve spent mornings and evenings here at home with my family.

Take Back Your Health Conference expo hall

But the split doesn’t stop there. This weekend is also the inaugural Take Back Your Health Conference right in my backyard in Arlington, Virginia. Organized by an amazing young woman who was so sick she had to leave college but then found healing through diet and lifestyle changes, the conference has a great line-up of giants in the field of holistic health. So I spent some of today there, too.

It’s been interesting to be at the blogging conference thinking about my priorities and passions and then to see so many people engaged in those passions at the health conference. And then to come home and live some of those passions — at least attachment parenting and healthful eating, anyway. A few other aspects of healthy living are taking a back seat with so much shuttling around.

Think I’ll go have a mindful moment with my partner now!

That is, if my daughter doesn’t wake up first.

When I first met my friend Elaine, she spoke warmly of her two homebirths. I had just one child who was born via c-section, which saddened me. Now I am the proud mama of a home VBAC — Vaginal Birth After Cesarean, or HBAC. And today Elaine is writing at TheDCMoms.com about homebirth.

Here are some upcoming resources to learn more about VBAC and to support those who are working hard to make VBAC a viable option.

Fundraiser for ICAN of NOVA (International Cesarean Awareness Network of Northern Virginia)
Go to California Tortilla on Wednesday, October 12. Write “ICAN of NOVA” on your receipt and put it in the box so that the chapter gets proceeds.
Fair Lakes – 12239 Fair Lakes Parkway, Fairfax (all day)

Arlington – 2057 Wilson Blvd., Arlington (all day)

Alexandria – 301 Swamp Fox Road, Alexandria (all day)

Oakton – 2930 Chain Bridge Road, #102, Oakton (5-9pm)

VBAC 101 Class

Capitol Hill Yoga on Sunday 10/23 from 3:00 to 5:00
p.m. The class covers:

Everything you need to know about vaginal birth after cesarean such as: Are you a good candidate for a VBAC? What are the risks and benefits of VBAC? What can you do to increase your chances of having one? Where can you find mother-to-mother support as you pursue your VBAC? Workshop facilitator Barbara Stratton is a former doula and is currently the national VBAC ban chair for the International Cesarean Awareness Network (ICAN) as well as the founder and co-leader for ICAN of Baltimore. $40 per couple. Interested women can contact me at womancaredoula @ comcast.net

Baltimore ICAN Meeting

October 13, 7pm at
Butler Volunteer Fire department, 15019 Falls Rd Butler MD 21023. The hall is stroller accessible and
handicap accessible. Topic will be on Holistic Midwifery with midwife Lori Serabo.
http://www.icanofba ltimore.org/

ICAN of NOVA Meeting

Wednesday, October 19, 2011 from 7 PM (until 10 PM). At the City of Fairfax Regional Library.

http://www.icanofnova.org/articles/Meetings_&_Events and on Facebook